I have seemed to work out a pretty good schedule for our days that Daddy is gone. We wake up at or around 7:30a.m. most every morning. I get the girls dressed and ready for their days. Feed them breakfast and while they eat I pack Alisa her lunch for school. I run down feed the animals and when I get back up we then all pack up in the car at 8:30 a.m. to get Alisa to school before the bell rings at 8:47 a.m. This is usually the time when Alisa will throw some pretty serious conversation my way. Like one morning last week when she said (as we are pulling into the parking lot of her school mind you) "Mom, I really think Justin Bieber is cute! and Vanessa, we are in the same class, she likes him too! But Isa she doesnt like him because he is gay!". Yes you read that right this is what my eight year old daughter wanted to through out there two minutes before she was due to hop out of the car and run to school. So of course my first thought was shock but I didnt say anything out loud and just as I started to think to myself Liz calm down she probably doesn't even know what it means she continues with "You know Mom, he likes other boys!". Now let me say this before I continue... I am a Hairstylist and I have many gay friends, I do not judge them nor do I condemn them I myself am a sinner just because it does not come in the form of being gay does not make my sin any less wrong! I love my gay friends with all my heart just as God calls me to. So back to my story :) I calmly told Alisa that I am positive that Justin Bieber is not gay because he had recently been interviewed and in his interview told them that he believes in God and is a christian. I then told her the Bible teaches that being gay is a sin. She said oh and went on her way! Phew! So now back to my schedule while JT is away. After dropping Alisa off at school I bring the younger two home settle Abby in on the couch and tend to Anabelle and her needs. Feeding, bathing changing, and playing. She eventually tires back out and by the time Abby's movie is over Anabelle is ready to go down for her first nap. I then get myself a second or third (depends on the morning) cup of coffee and get started on my daily chores. Abby is so good she will either go play outside or in her bedroom quietly. I do the dishes which are from dinner the night before and breakfast that morning. Straighten up the rest of the kitchen and then I begin walking around the house picking up any stray messes I can find. I give myself a short break to check my email, twitter, and blog accounts then get right back to work. I will try to get a load of laundry going because we all know this is a never ending chore when you have 3 kids and a husband. By this time its usually about 12 o'clock and hopefully if I am lucky Abby is ready for her nap. If so yay! this is my "quiet time" I get about 1 more hour before Anabelle will wake up. So I tuck Abby in for her nap, I change out of my regular clothes and into my "muckers" these are my dirty jeans, T-shirt, belt, cowgirl boots, ponytail, sunglasses and Baseball Cap. Once Im "All Dressed Up" ;) I go back down to the horses to "muck" their stalls. This usually takes me the hour of quiet time I mentioned a few sentences back. So I come up get out of my dirty clothes take a quick shower and get back into my normal clothes. Anabelle is usually awake and ready to be fed so I set her up for lunch and try to grab myself a bite while I am at it. She finishes up pretty quick and when she gets done I set her down to play and try to get Abby's lunch together before she wakes up. When Abby wakes up she eats while watching another movie and as soon as she finishes up its time to head out and pick-up the girls. Now I am really lucky I have worked out a carpool schedule with a friend. I get the kids on Mon. Tue. she gets them Thur. Fri. and we switch back and forth each week on who gets Wed. So if its not my carpool day this is my second little break I will let Anabelle and Abby play while I sit on the couch and vegg for about a half an hour waiting for Alisa to get home. When she does get home I make her a snack and she gets a half an hour to play or relax whatever she chooses until its time to start on homework. Alisa is a very smart girl but she could care less about homework so at 4 o'clock when its time to start homework she sits down and "the night begins" we go back and forth arguing trying to explain things, she'll come out of her room a hundred times to ask questions that make no sense at all! This makes for a very very long night! At 5 Anabelle is ready for her second nap this one happens to be a "power" nap. While she is down I will cook dinner and try to get Abby in the bath. We eat around 6 p.m. I get Alisa in the shower if she didn't take one that morning and then we start the bedtime routine Pj's, call daddy to say goodnight, make our beds, prayers, hugs n kisses and lights out! I am usually dragging but at this point and all I want to do is sit on the couch turn on Netflix and curl up with a glass of wine to watch my new favorite show Desperate Housewives... Im on season 3! But I cannot do this until I run back down to the horses to feed again. I call Jonathan back to chat and say goodnight when my show is all done and I usually make it to bed by 12.
Now this schedule seems to work out pretty well with juggling the baby and Abby getting most of the house clean, animals are fed and alive! But ever since baby number 3 who I affectionately call squishy :) I cannot seem to find get my energy back! I am constantly feeling tired I have body aches all the time I am an emotional basket case three weeks out of every months. I have lost my appetite and worst then anything I've lost my drive! My ambition! I used to be so on the go always happy go lucky I could take on the world I had energy to spare I could run circles around my husband when it came to anything that had to do with the house! I was optimistic and luckily in this department still am most of the time! But it is really starting to get to me this whole down in the dumps mood. My hope my prayer is that it is only a faze, a stage in my life. I pray that I can have the old me back soon because this version of me is really hard to carry around! It doesn't help that Jonathan has been working insane amounts of over time AND was in a two week long class so the schedule I keep was repeated daily for 14 days!!! I felt like I was stuck in that movie with the ghostbuster guy... Ground Hog Day. You know the one where everyday just keeps repeating itself.
So maybe if any of you out there have been through something similar but have seen the light at the end of your tunnel you can be the light at the end of mine and let me know it will all be ok! I am so lucky to have the husband that I do. He has put up with this mood change by helping anywhere he can when he is home! He even cooks! This is one of the perks of having a FireFighter husband :) or at least mine! He learned how to cook because they live away from home for their 24 hour shifts so they all pitch in money and cook a meal together! I have yet to find anything to help me through this slump other then my pot of coffee in the morning. I did take a yoga class for a little while and this was just lovely mostly because I had a whole hour to focus on relaxing! Needless to say I am still here stuck in my slump and cant seem to pick myself up. I will end with this... if any of you are wondering how I have made it this far I only have one thing... I am in constant communication with God throughout my day. He tells me through his word that he is all I need that he will never forsake me, never give me more then I can handle and when I think to myself how am I ever going to make it through another day like this I think of my favorite verse Phillipians 4:13 I can do ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS me. I dont have to do this alone I have my creator on my side! and if I ever forget this I have a handful of great friends to remind me :)
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