So today was the first of Jt's 3 days away. Im about to cry just writing that sentence. Things have been rough. I have had a very hectic schedule with clients, volunteer work, house cleaning, summer prep, birthday parties, Bridal Showers and the list goes on. So with such a crazy schedule and then adding in the daily errands like the bank, grocery store, dropping off and picking up the kids there has been very very little time left for My Love and I.
To make matters worse we had quite the argument last night and I wont go into detail but it wasn't fun feelings were hurt communication was lost and honestly if we weren't us I might have been worried :(. Instead of goodnight we said our apologies but that never gives us back our time. I woke this morning and he was gone to work and now here we are separate for three days. Left to sort our feelings out on our own. I received a text from him mid day telling me about the 150 acre fire that was burning I asked if he was heading out he said not yet, gave me details of who and what then nothing for a couple hours I tried calling him but he didn't answer. That left me hurt even more (because Im a girl and I can be a bit emotional at times) So after nothing from him by 5ish I did my girly thing and turned off my phone. I was so hurt that at that point I didnt want to talk to him even if he did decide to finally call. Im sure he had a very busy day... I wish just knowing that would stop my tears from falling but it doesn't. It doesn't ease the pain in anyway... the truth is my husband and I were in a fight that never really concluded and whether or not I like it I have to suck it up and move on because he will be gone for three days and if Im lucky he wont get a call while we are on the phone and have to leave mid convo, leaving me there hurting once again.
So thats that, I never ended up talking to him at all this evening and here I am trying to "process" my feelings... which by the way might I add that all thanks to God I took a mid day break to journal some prayers and to ask God for some peace, THAT he definitely answered!!! I could not make it through this crazy thing they called life without Him!! Ill let you know how tomorrow goes... I'm crossing my fingers!
LT
So the whole three day past with us not talking. It felt easier that way. Without fail when things are intense and we really need to hash it out the station will get a call what happens then is we stop where we are at he rushes off and I sit there in wait until he gets a chance to call me back. This is not an easy thing to do, especially for me since my core sin" is anger. This time though I felt a peace about me which was new and nice! When I felt myself start getting angry or hurt again I pulled out my journal and prayed. The truth is I struggle with leaning on God and instead expect way too much from my husband. He is human and has plenty of faults himself. I am growing in this aspect of my life and it feels good :) When he came home from his 72 (what we in the fire service call a 3 day 24+24+24=72) I had to leave for a 3 day trip to Las Vegas... of course! So more "putting things on hold". I am so thankful for the strength of our relationship, the commitment, and my relationship with God I really do not know how else we would be getting through situations like this! So we finally talked and things were obviously watered down after 6 days we made it through and here we are! I could say I wish things were different but truth be told these are the situations that make us stronger that help us to appreciate each other more and teach us grow, us as a couple. As always thanks for reading leave a comment if you like I would love to hear from you!
LT
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