I want what I need, not what I want!

  In the middle of all this chaos, that I like to call my current life situation, house hunting, being a taxi for the family, balancing our new budget, trying to get out of any debts that will hinder financial success after we move, still trying to pack the last bits and pieces of our things, some how in all this (and there is more my brain is just too mushy to think of it all at the moment) I am finding peace.

  Its amazing what God in teaching me through this process. This morning I have discover how much joy and peace it brings for me to be able to live within our means. We have sold off so many "extra" things we had and the cleaner the house gets (or the emptier however you want to look at it) the happier I become. Its like when you are a young teen and you get so excited to start driving! Yeah the idea is amazing, to be in "control" of your transportation, to feel so responsible. But then reality hits, now as a legal driver of the family you get the responsibility of helping transport all the other siblings or family members that are unable to drive. Or how about when you got that first piece of mail? Oh I am so grown up I get mail! Then you realize oh wait!! Its a bill!! lol. Well I've learned home ownership is quite the same way along with all the things you choose to fill the house with! If you own it that means its YOUR responsibility! Heater breaks YOU get to pay to have it fixed. Busted pipe YOU again! How about all the little crap, clothes, toys, electronics... it all comes with responsibility. Im not saying I want no responsibility but I have learned I want very little I have enough when it comes to my husband and kids. To add more to that only creates chaos in my mind. I am a simple person really, I want to go for bike rides and hikes, maybe lay out on the beach for the weekend, spend sunday at the church loving on and growing with my church family, take the dogs for walks, go to the local parks and play with my kids. But when I have a house full of crap that is now all over the floor my mind says no you cant go do all that, you need to clean the house! Which of course with 3 young kids running around never happens right! So whats my answer to this problem I have? Simplify. Do I really need all the things I have to be happy? Will it make me a better mom? How about a better wife or even a better christian? No. It in fact makes me worse at all the above. Why? Well now that I have all these other responsibilities on my plate I cant even get to the responsibilities that matter. This past year I was so overwhelmed by our mess of a house the list of things needing fixed the bills that only continued to pile up the lack of time I had with JT and the girls that I went into what Id like to call financial denial! I STOPPED paying the bills, I refused to look at the bank account balance EVER and I would just say yes to everything. If JT wanted something he would ask are we good can I get this? Id just say yes! If the girls needed something or I wanted to go out and buy them something I just did. I would pay the bills whenever the bill collector's would call. Which of course only made it worse! We were basically paying double because of late fees and I didn't care! I guess you could say on top of the denial I was also in a financial depression. Lucky for me I had a very dear friend come over help me get back on track and frankly snap me the ?$%# out of it. She said "Liz its your JOB! Like it or not we don't always like our job's but you have a responsibility to your family" She even challenged me to cancel my weekend birthday vacation we had planned(back in August) because looking at our budget the truth was we couldn't afford it! Which I did not do I took it as a fresh start. We weren't so bad off that we could not go we just had to be "good" about the money while we were gone. Which we did :) That was the start of this journey.

  We are now nearly debt free and each day we get rid of more things we do not need. I am learning to say NO a lot more to the things that do not matter and YES to the things that DO!! I feel more free every day and as we look to the future, the idea that we may have to stay with JTs parents for a little while, for once I look ahead with joy and peace. It wont be easy to stay in someone else's home but it will be nice to use the time wisely and get back on track with what really matters. I can proudly say we are now a month ahead on all bills, along with having a little bit of savings and take in to account what we can COMFORTABLY afford when going out to make ANY purchase. It's not easy saying no to things and trying to stay on top of it all the time but all the hard work is well worth it in the end when we get to be at peace knowing that all the bills are paid and we are financially free.

  Lesson learned, I want what I NEED not what I WANT!! Its just better that way :) Thanks for reading!

                                                                    LT