So I think I am finally beginning to understand and except how to have a "normal" life within the fire service. I sure wish it hadn't taken me 8 years to start on the right track but hey at least I am getting it now and not 10 years from now when the girls are up and grown.
Driving Alisa to school this morning she starts talking about the "Father/Daughter" dance the PTA is holding at her school this week and she says "I wish dad didn't have to work." My reply? "Well sweetie your Daddies job is different then other daddies. That is why we have to make special time for you and him on our own" We don't have evenings off monday through friday, we do not get weekends off or "summer vacation" heck we dont even get HOLIDAYS and for the longest time I have had trouble trying to make it to weekend birthday parties and baby showers or an evening small group with church friends then of course there is the family who wants to know why you don't want to drive in holiday traffic alone with 3 kids. The "normal" world or most of it plan their lives around this weekend evening schedule thing. Which means for me and the girls if there is a birthday party on saturday and Jt is working we either do not get to go or I play single mom with 3 kids for the day (not fun with a crazy toddler). But the perks to our schedule I am learning out weigh the downsides tremendously! If you can learn to work the system right. The thing is Jts schedule is set out for us for the next 20 years until he retires we can look ahead and in theory see whether or not he is working christmas day in 2015 or Thanksgiving 2020. Also my husband is not home every evening it is sporadic ALWAYS, but unlike my friends husbands he is home sporadic throughout the week. So for example he could be off on any of the weekdays when the girls are in school, perk right!? Now we could do a day thing together or I get his help around the house with out the distraction of all the kids. We can also work around days that we would like to plan something because since you do not get holidays off with his job (people have heart attacks and fires on christmas and thanksgiving too) we get what is called "holiday" time as long as he can find a co worker to take his day then he can put in for holiday time and both guys get paid. So I am slowly getting the hang of this, if I know far enough in advance about a party or event I would like for him to be at as long as we can get the time covered I can have him with me and the girls don't miss out. I mean if you think about it, once all three girls are in school we will get all his weekday days off to our selves! How amazing right!? So my plan is to look far enough ahead this year and book off some vacations for our family so that I do not miss out! I find that as long as I get my family time to refresh and rebuild then Im ready set for the crazy busy thing we call "life" in between! I have also slowly let down my guard with grandparents and have learned they are a VITAL part to my families success! Whether it be they take the girls for a weekend so Jt and I can have time to reconnect or Grammy takes the baby so I can take the older two to a weekend birthday party and not worry about chasing a 2 year old the whole time! Its not easy because my instinct and heart wants my husband to be the one helping but like I told Alisa "Sweetie you daddies job isn't like other daddies jobs" I have to except it and know that he gets to do something he LOVES and to boot feed and care for his family while doing it!! Im not sure how fire families without the extended support do it really! Or the fire families that the wives also work!! I have had to stop everything in order to balance the normal around here! Its hard to be an independent women at heart and be fully dependent on my husband but Ive learned the hard way its the closest to normal my family will ever have and for our peace and our kids peace I have to let go of my old dreams and make new ones! The cool thing is in all of this is that I think they were right... God knows my heart better then I do and He is giving me everything my heart desires even when I had no idea it desired this in the first place! As I make new dreams it feels like they've been there all along!!
So in closing Im getting it, Im learning how to bring "normal" into a not so normal life! ;) Im feeling at peace with it now and I can see blessings of peace being passed down to my girls as I find my own peace in it all! I couldn't ask for more!
LT
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
I'm "Half" Crazy...
Well I did it! About six months ago, after not working out in over two years ( a record for me) I started back on my fitness journey. I had a group of friends that started to frequent a boot camp in our area and would shared progress pictures on their Facebook accounts. It only took a few weeks of seeing this and a random act of signing up for a local mud run to give me the push I needed to get back off the couch! I had lost a lot of muscle over two years so I had become what the fitness world calls "skinny fat". I had no energy and my diet SUCKED to say the least! When I ate (which was rare) I would just snack on whatever frozen meal I had heated up for the girls :(. It was bad! I would say my lowest of lows!!
After signing up for the mud run I knew I had to get in some sort of shape. So I hit up the local Boot Camp my friends had been going to and started back at the gym with JT as much as possible. It was not easy. I had forgotten a lot about fitness and the machines but I was determined to get my old self back! I hit 30 this year and wanted to begin my thirties NOT feeling like I was in my Fifties!! The working out was great! Although it was tough and tiring I noticed my appetite come back in full force and better yet I was beginning to crave a MUCH healthier diet then I had previously been munching on! I began to set some goals like making sure to gain back some healthy weight, run more, and eat clean. As I stuck to my goals I began to see HUGE progress in my body! I was seeing ME again! I had also been talking to a friend of mine at church who was a runner and she had mentioned wanting to run a half marathon. I had talked with other friends about it before but was never 100% into the idea. Im not big into running, or at least I wasn't yet ;). Shortly after this my friend and I signed up and began training for a Half Marathon in Santa Barbara.
I am so happy to look back on the past six or so months and see the big changes I have made! Every day is not perfect and I cheat more then I probably should on my diet but I feel amazing and have learned once again that I can do anything I set my mind to! I ran the half marathon this weekend and thats a story in itself but I did it! My goals were to run and NOT stop, to have no water breaks, and to FINISH. No specific time was in my head just "complete it" :) I did all of that!! Plus I finished in 2:02 :D a pace of 9m 22sec mile!! Not too shabby for my first half! On my run I kept coming up on this couple with shirts that said "we're only half crazy" I loved it, and you know what I hated running when I started this journey but I think its hit me! Ive got the bug! Im "half" crazy! Im ready to hit the road again and sign up for another but this time my goal will be a timed one! Im so excited for my thirties now! They will be the best years of my life!! Stay posted Ill be blogging about the half marathon and how I survived 13.1 miles without my music!!!!! :/ lol as always thanks for reading!! Love to all!
LT
After signing up for the mud run I knew I had to get in some sort of shape. So I hit up the local Boot Camp my friends had been going to and started back at the gym with JT as much as possible. It was not easy. I had forgotten a lot about fitness and the machines but I was determined to get my old self back! I hit 30 this year and wanted to begin my thirties NOT feeling like I was in my Fifties!! The working out was great! Although it was tough and tiring I noticed my appetite come back in full force and better yet I was beginning to crave a MUCH healthier diet then I had previously been munching on! I began to set some goals like making sure to gain back some healthy weight, run more, and eat clean. As I stuck to my goals I began to see HUGE progress in my body! I was seeing ME again! I had also been talking to a friend of mine at church who was a runner and she had mentioned wanting to run a half marathon. I had talked with other friends about it before but was never 100% into the idea. Im not big into running, or at least I wasn't yet ;). Shortly after this my friend and I signed up and began training for a Half Marathon in Santa Barbara.
I am so happy to look back on the past six or so months and see the big changes I have made! Every day is not perfect and I cheat more then I probably should on my diet but I feel amazing and have learned once again that I can do anything I set my mind to! I ran the half marathon this weekend and thats a story in itself but I did it! My goals were to run and NOT stop, to have no water breaks, and to FINISH. No specific time was in my head just "complete it" :) I did all of that!! Plus I finished in 2:02 :D a pace of 9m 22sec mile!! Not too shabby for my first half! On my run I kept coming up on this couple with shirts that said "we're only half crazy" I loved it, and you know what I hated running when I started this journey but I think its hit me! Ive got the bug! Im "half" crazy! Im ready to hit the road again and sign up for another but this time my goal will be a timed one! Im so excited for my thirties now! They will be the best years of my life!! Stay posted Ill be blogging about the half marathon and how I survived 13.1 miles without my music!!!!! :/ lol as always thanks for reading!! Love to all!
LT
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Faith and Fitness...
Aww here I am in solitude. We had a very special wedding to attend last night so the girls stayed over with JT's parents. So much has changed since I last blogged, I no longer am working as a Hairstylist, our oldest daughter hit double digits and turned 10, our middle daughter is now in kindergarten, I've gone from blonde to brunette, my husband has started to pursue teaching and other advanced areas of his career (now that I have freed my schedule of clients to fully support him) and I have jumped head first back into the world of fitness. Life is full of busyness around our house and yet I look back on our days and wonder why. Its not like the girls are not in sports and I never schedule evening plans due to the amount of homework that comes home daily between two kids.
Letting go of my career was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I had so much fear and anxiety hovering over me, what if we needed the money more then we knew, was I ready to be completely dependent on my husband, would I lose the sense of "this is what I bring to the table". The list goes on I was afraid for so much but I knew its what our family needed. The anxiety and stress that came from prepping for clients was far greater then the anxiety and stress I would have over losing a few dollars of our income, and the truth was God was calling me to more then just being completely dependent on my husband but to be completely dependent on Him having an overwhelming faith that He would bless and provide for us through my husband. So I let Him have it! I did my part and quit work, and you know what God has blessed and He HAS provided!! Not only have the bills been paid every month which is always nice but more importantly there is a peace that fills our home! I have learned that I as the women of the house set the mood. If I am stressed and my anxiety is high my kids and my husband are frantically on edge trying to keep mom from blowing. If I've got a chill attitude and stay calm through the mess and stress of life we all have more confidence that it will all work itself out, no big deal! :) The saddest part for me is that I am realizing mostly in my oldest daughter that I have to "reteach" a lot of behaviors and how we should react to situations, the good news is, I do not believe in "the first five" rule. I know I have not lost hope with her and as long as we stay consistent I can pass down the blessing of calm relaxed peace.
Fast forwarding quite a bit now I have jumped on the "fitness band wagon". Well I've always loved fitness and being in shape, I can even remember working out with my moms dumbbells when I was in elementary maybe middle school. In High school I put together an "All about me" board for a class project with pictures of ripped body builders and said "I will marry a guy like this one day" lol! But life and three kids later I had all but lost my fitness dreams. Then I started to notice a bunch of friends frequenting a Boot Camp in our area and after some coaxing from one of these friends I decided to give it a try! That was the beginning and I haven't stopped! I don't get to attend BC much due to JTs crazy schedule but I do hit the gym 5-6 days a week with my gym partner and I have signed up for a half marathon that I will run this weekend so I've been training for that running any where from 5-almost 10 miles every few days. I noticed a huge change in my body and can almost taste my dream of getting on stage to compete like I dreamed when I was a little girl! I can see myself up there rocking a body I thought was for sure lost to motherhood! So here I sit on my couch resting taking it easy because I am trying to catch a cold and cannot get sick right before my run! I haven't stopped to blog or read or relax in so long! I don't know how to STOP! But I want to complete my half on saturday so I am forcing myself to stop! This is so good for me though because I have been struggling mentally with my childhood dream. I am different then I was in High School (aren't we all!?) life happened to me, a LOT of life, I've been through the ringer and I've found my peace in the only source I believe that can bring true peace, God. Being in the fitness world surrounded by "beautiful people" who are in constant talk of me, me, me, my body needs this, I need to do that, Im competing here, takes its toll! Don't get me wrong I believe God wants us to love and care for ourselves not only mentally but physically. I also believe that in all things there needs to be balance! Which in itself is a challenge! So here I am sitting stopped and I am finally allowing these thoughts to flood from my mind. While I type, I get to process all thats been going on and share my journey with all of you (whoever YOU may be). I love that I am finally able to go after a life long dream but I love even MORE that I've come to a place in my life where Im not facing my dreams alone, I have my Father who loves me deeper then I could imagine here with me ready to carry me through the struggles that this dream will bring along the way! Its crazy actually because just the little taste that I've had of what goes into fitness competitions and prep I cant imagine doing it without Him! I love that I've come full circle and I can look back and see how He put me in places and brought people in to my life preparing me with the support and mental game I will need to step out on that stage! I am more excited and more motivated then I have EVER been!! Its corny but I have that Miley Cyrus song in my head a lot " I can almost see it, that dream Im dreamin". I think Im ready but as I continue this chapter of my life I know I do not want to look back on it and see that I pushed God aside! I want to stay focused on who I REALLY am and being a fitness model is not what will define me! I still and always will want to stay focused on being a daughter of the King! So your prayers over me are welcomed and appreciated I look forward to the challenge of finding balance but know that I cannot do it alone! If I lose focus on Him I will lose myself!
Im not sure how to end this entry, I guess I just needed to share my thoughts out loud living life as a christian has never been easy, being into fitness and my body so much I just struggle with fears of is this me being too selfish? Why do I care so much about my outer appearance when I know God cares more about my inner. Is this wrong? So far I feel like I just cant lose focus in what really matters. So heres to staying focused on the bigger picture and who I really am! Thanks for reading my blabber :)
With Love,
LT
Letting go of my career was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I had so much fear and anxiety hovering over me, what if we needed the money more then we knew, was I ready to be completely dependent on my husband, would I lose the sense of "this is what I bring to the table". The list goes on I was afraid for so much but I knew its what our family needed. The anxiety and stress that came from prepping for clients was far greater then the anxiety and stress I would have over losing a few dollars of our income, and the truth was God was calling me to more then just being completely dependent on my husband but to be completely dependent on Him having an overwhelming faith that He would bless and provide for us through my husband. So I let Him have it! I did my part and quit work, and you know what God has blessed and He HAS provided!! Not only have the bills been paid every month which is always nice but more importantly there is a peace that fills our home! I have learned that I as the women of the house set the mood. If I am stressed and my anxiety is high my kids and my husband are frantically on edge trying to keep mom from blowing. If I've got a chill attitude and stay calm through the mess and stress of life we all have more confidence that it will all work itself out, no big deal! :) The saddest part for me is that I am realizing mostly in my oldest daughter that I have to "reteach" a lot of behaviors and how we should react to situations, the good news is, I do not believe in "the first five" rule. I know I have not lost hope with her and as long as we stay consistent I can pass down the blessing of calm relaxed peace.
Fast forwarding quite a bit now I have jumped on the "fitness band wagon". Well I've always loved fitness and being in shape, I can even remember working out with my moms dumbbells when I was in elementary maybe middle school. In High school I put together an "All about me" board for a class project with pictures of ripped body builders and said "I will marry a guy like this one day" lol! But life and three kids later I had all but lost my fitness dreams. Then I started to notice a bunch of friends frequenting a Boot Camp in our area and after some coaxing from one of these friends I decided to give it a try! That was the beginning and I haven't stopped! I don't get to attend BC much due to JTs crazy schedule but I do hit the gym 5-6 days a week with my gym partner and I have signed up for a half marathon that I will run this weekend so I've been training for that running any where from 5-almost 10 miles every few days. I noticed a huge change in my body and can almost taste my dream of getting on stage to compete like I dreamed when I was a little girl! I can see myself up there rocking a body I thought was for sure lost to motherhood! So here I sit on my couch resting taking it easy because I am trying to catch a cold and cannot get sick right before my run! I haven't stopped to blog or read or relax in so long! I don't know how to STOP! But I want to complete my half on saturday so I am forcing myself to stop! This is so good for me though because I have been struggling mentally with my childhood dream. I am different then I was in High School (aren't we all!?) life happened to me, a LOT of life, I've been through the ringer and I've found my peace in the only source I believe that can bring true peace, God. Being in the fitness world surrounded by "beautiful people" who are in constant talk of me, me, me, my body needs this, I need to do that, Im competing here, takes its toll! Don't get me wrong I believe God wants us to love and care for ourselves not only mentally but physically. I also believe that in all things there needs to be balance! Which in itself is a challenge! So here I am sitting stopped and I am finally allowing these thoughts to flood from my mind. While I type, I get to process all thats been going on and share my journey with all of you (whoever YOU may be). I love that I am finally able to go after a life long dream but I love even MORE that I've come to a place in my life where Im not facing my dreams alone, I have my Father who loves me deeper then I could imagine here with me ready to carry me through the struggles that this dream will bring along the way! Its crazy actually because just the little taste that I've had of what goes into fitness competitions and prep I cant imagine doing it without Him! I love that I've come full circle and I can look back and see how He put me in places and brought people in to my life preparing me with the support and mental game I will need to step out on that stage! I am more excited and more motivated then I have EVER been!! Its corny but I have that Miley Cyrus song in my head a lot " I can almost see it, that dream Im dreamin". I think Im ready but as I continue this chapter of my life I know I do not want to look back on it and see that I pushed God aside! I want to stay focused on who I REALLY am and being a fitness model is not what will define me! I still and always will want to stay focused on being a daughter of the King! So your prayers over me are welcomed and appreciated I look forward to the challenge of finding balance but know that I cannot do it alone! If I lose focus on Him I will lose myself!
Im not sure how to end this entry, I guess I just needed to share my thoughts out loud living life as a christian has never been easy, being into fitness and my body so much I just struggle with fears of is this me being too selfish? Why do I care so much about my outer appearance when I know God cares more about my inner. Is this wrong? So far I feel like I just cant lose focus in what really matters. So heres to staying focused on the bigger picture and who I really am! Thanks for reading my blabber :)
With Love,
LT
Friday, July 27, 2012
" Your gonna miss this", or will I?
You know I often sit and think about that oh so wonderful fraise, "Your gonna miss this". I think about it as I run crazy behind my kids cleaning up their messes. I think about it as I sit and witness my husband sleep for hours and hours a day! ( No really! He sleeps almost as much as I am awake during the day! lol) I think about it as I dream of days when my house will stay clean and I will sit comfy on the couch reading, knitting, or relaxing till my hearts content. Am I REALLY "Gonna miss this"? Maybe. Maybe not.
I'll tell you what I will miss. I'll miss my kids hugs and kisses until my hearts content! I'll miss the sound of laughter coming from their bedrooms as they play "teacher", "house", or "tea party". I won't miss the fight that follows and the endless fit that seems to last the rest of the day when I ask them to clean up the mess they made playing all of those wonderful games! I will miss the overflowing amounts of art and color pages brought to me daily, I will in no way miss the big spot of red crayola crayon I have to scrub, scrub and scrub again off my tile floor! Most of all, I will absolutely in every way possible miss the beautiful, happy, joyful faces that are the reasons for those messes!
So I think what it really is, what I will feel or miss most of all when its all said and done, as I sit there in my quiet, clean house, curled up on my couch enjoying my current read. I will more then likely glance down at that tile where I scrubbed, scrubbed and scrubbed some more and it will bring back the flooding memories of my wonderful, joyful, happy children and it will hit me. I will miss THEM in every way! Then I will probably think to myself, "Ill take that crayon back now" and gladly scrub scrub and scrub some more if I could just have one more squishy, slobbery, wet kiss and big bear hug from that beautiful face! I will! I will miss this!!
LT
I'll tell you what I will miss. I'll miss my kids hugs and kisses until my hearts content! I'll miss the sound of laughter coming from their bedrooms as they play "teacher", "house", or "tea party". I won't miss the fight that follows and the endless fit that seems to last the rest of the day when I ask them to clean up the mess they made playing all of those wonderful games! I will miss the overflowing amounts of art and color pages brought to me daily, I will in no way miss the big spot of red crayola crayon I have to scrub, scrub and scrub again off my tile floor! Most of all, I will absolutely in every way possible miss the beautiful, happy, joyful faces that are the reasons for those messes!
So I think what it really is, what I will feel or miss most of all when its all said and done, as I sit there in my quiet, clean house, curled up on my couch enjoying my current read. I will more then likely glance down at that tile where I scrubbed, scrubbed and scrubbed some more and it will bring back the flooding memories of my wonderful, joyful, happy children and it will hit me. I will miss THEM in every way! Then I will probably think to myself, "Ill take that crayon back now" and gladly scrub scrub and scrub some more if I could just have one more squishy, slobbery, wet kiss and big bear hug from that beautiful face! I will! I will miss this!!
LT
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Its been too long...
Dear Blog,
I miss you! I have so much o tell you and there is so much to catch up on! We moved. I quit my day job. I downsized the animals. Its all been so life changing. Hope we can get together soon! Maybe a cup of coffee? Or a day on the couch. See you soon I hope.
with lots of love,
LT
I miss you! I have so much o tell you and there is so much to catch up on! We moved. I quit my day job. I downsized the animals. Its all been so life changing. Hope we can get together soon! Maybe a cup of coffee? Or a day on the couch. See you soon I hope.
with lots of love,
LT
Friday, January 13, 2012
I want what I need, not what I want!
In the middle of all this chaos, that I like to call my current life situation, house hunting, being a taxi for the family, balancing our new budget, trying to get out of any debts that will hinder financial success after we move, still trying to pack the last bits and pieces of our things, some how in all this (and there is more my brain is just too mushy to think of it all at the moment) I am finding peace.
Its amazing what God in teaching me through this process. This morning I have discover how much joy and peace it brings for me to be able to live within our means. We have sold off so many "extra" things we had and the cleaner the house gets (or the emptier however you want to look at it) the happier I become. Its like when you are a young teen and you get so excited to start driving! Yeah the idea is amazing, to be in "control" of your transportation, to feel so responsible. But then reality hits, now as a legal driver of the family you get the responsibility of helping transport all the other siblings or family members that are unable to drive. Or how about when you got that first piece of mail? Oh I am so grown up I get mail! Then you realize oh wait!! Its a bill!! lol. Well I've learned home ownership is quite the same way along with all the things you choose to fill the house with! If you own it that means its YOUR responsibility! Heater breaks YOU get to pay to have it fixed. Busted pipe YOU again! How about all the little crap, clothes, toys, electronics... it all comes with responsibility. Im not saying I want no responsibility but I have learned I want very little I have enough when it comes to my husband and kids. To add more to that only creates chaos in my mind. I am a simple person really, I want to go for bike rides and hikes, maybe lay out on the beach for the weekend, spend sunday at the church loving on and growing with my church family, take the dogs for walks, go to the local parks and play with my kids. But when I have a house full of crap that is now all over the floor my mind says no you cant go do all that, you need to clean the house! Which of course with 3 young kids running around never happens right! So whats my answer to this problem I have? Simplify. Do I really need all the things I have to be happy? Will it make me a better mom? How about a better wife or even a better christian? No. It in fact makes me worse at all the above. Why? Well now that I have all these other responsibilities on my plate I cant even get to the responsibilities that matter. This past year I was so overwhelmed by our mess of a house the list of things needing fixed the bills that only continued to pile up the lack of time I had with JT and the girls that I went into what Id like to call financial denial! I STOPPED paying the bills, I refused to look at the bank account balance EVER and I would just say yes to everything. If JT wanted something he would ask are we good can I get this? Id just say yes! If the girls needed something or I wanted to go out and buy them something I just did. I would pay the bills whenever the bill collector's would call. Which of course only made it worse! We were basically paying double because of late fees and I didn't care! I guess you could say on top of the denial I was also in a financial depression. Lucky for me I had a very dear friend come over help me get back on track and frankly snap me the ?$%# out of it. She said "Liz its your JOB! Like it or not we don't always like our job's but you have a responsibility to your family" She even challenged me to cancel my weekend birthday vacation we had planned(back in August) because looking at our budget the truth was we couldn't afford it! Which I did not do I took it as a fresh start. We weren't so bad off that we could not go we just had to be "good" about the money while we were gone. Which we did :) That was the start of this journey.
We are now nearly debt free and each day we get rid of more things we do not need. I am learning to say NO a lot more to the things that do not matter and YES to the things that DO!! I feel more free every day and as we look to the future, the idea that we may have to stay with JTs parents for a little while, for once I look ahead with joy and peace. It wont be easy to stay in someone else's home but it will be nice to use the time wisely and get back on track with what really matters. I can proudly say we are now a month ahead on all bills, along with having a little bit of savings and take in to account what we can COMFORTABLY afford when going out to make ANY purchase. It's not easy saying no to things and trying to stay on top of it all the time but all the hard work is well worth it in the end when we get to be at peace knowing that all the bills are paid and we are financially free.
Lesson learned, I want what I NEED not what I WANT!! Its just better that way :) Thanks for reading!
LT
Its amazing what God in teaching me through this process. This morning I have discover how much joy and peace it brings for me to be able to live within our means. We have sold off so many "extra" things we had and the cleaner the house gets (or the emptier however you want to look at it) the happier I become. Its like when you are a young teen and you get so excited to start driving! Yeah the idea is amazing, to be in "control" of your transportation, to feel so responsible. But then reality hits, now as a legal driver of the family you get the responsibility of helping transport all the other siblings or family members that are unable to drive. Or how about when you got that first piece of mail? Oh I am so grown up I get mail! Then you realize oh wait!! Its a bill!! lol. Well I've learned home ownership is quite the same way along with all the things you choose to fill the house with! If you own it that means its YOUR responsibility! Heater breaks YOU get to pay to have it fixed. Busted pipe YOU again! How about all the little crap, clothes, toys, electronics... it all comes with responsibility. Im not saying I want no responsibility but I have learned I want very little I have enough when it comes to my husband and kids. To add more to that only creates chaos in my mind. I am a simple person really, I want to go for bike rides and hikes, maybe lay out on the beach for the weekend, spend sunday at the church loving on and growing with my church family, take the dogs for walks, go to the local parks and play with my kids. But when I have a house full of crap that is now all over the floor my mind says no you cant go do all that, you need to clean the house! Which of course with 3 young kids running around never happens right! So whats my answer to this problem I have? Simplify. Do I really need all the things I have to be happy? Will it make me a better mom? How about a better wife or even a better christian? No. It in fact makes me worse at all the above. Why? Well now that I have all these other responsibilities on my plate I cant even get to the responsibilities that matter. This past year I was so overwhelmed by our mess of a house the list of things needing fixed the bills that only continued to pile up the lack of time I had with JT and the girls that I went into what Id like to call financial denial! I STOPPED paying the bills, I refused to look at the bank account balance EVER and I would just say yes to everything. If JT wanted something he would ask are we good can I get this? Id just say yes! If the girls needed something or I wanted to go out and buy them something I just did. I would pay the bills whenever the bill collector's would call. Which of course only made it worse! We were basically paying double because of late fees and I didn't care! I guess you could say on top of the denial I was also in a financial depression. Lucky for me I had a very dear friend come over help me get back on track and frankly snap me the ?$%# out of it. She said "Liz its your JOB! Like it or not we don't always like our job's but you have a responsibility to your family" She even challenged me to cancel my weekend birthday vacation we had planned(back in August) because looking at our budget the truth was we couldn't afford it! Which I did not do I took it as a fresh start. We weren't so bad off that we could not go we just had to be "good" about the money while we were gone. Which we did :) That was the start of this journey.
We are now nearly debt free and each day we get rid of more things we do not need. I am learning to say NO a lot more to the things that do not matter and YES to the things that DO!! I feel more free every day and as we look to the future, the idea that we may have to stay with JTs parents for a little while, for once I look ahead with joy and peace. It wont be easy to stay in someone else's home but it will be nice to use the time wisely and get back on track with what really matters. I can proudly say we are now a month ahead on all bills, along with having a little bit of savings and take in to account what we can COMFORTABLY afford when going out to make ANY purchase. It's not easy saying no to things and trying to stay on top of it all the time but all the hard work is well worth it in the end when we get to be at peace knowing that all the bills are paid and we are financially free.
Lesson learned, I want what I NEED not what I WANT!! Its just better that way :) Thanks for reading!
LT
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
YOU LOSE!!
I cant believe its been two month since my last post! I LOVE my blogs. They are a great way for me to keep track of things, get things off my chest or simply share what is going on with our family at the moment. I was doing really well blogging every couple days. But some major changes have accord in our house and life, that in a nut shell put our "life" on hold!
For starters we have decided to short sell our home. This was a very hard decisions to make we bought our home almost exactly 5 years ago and have put a lot of hard work special touches and love into it to make it our home. I have made very good friends here in our neighborhood and Alisa has too. I am thankful though, to know that these friendships are built on Jesus Christ and our mutual love for Him so I have faith that although we will be leaving the area they will continue to grow stronger through the years. In fact I cant help but feel, looking back on our past five years here that maybe THEY were the reason God had me here. I mean why else would he move me to a place just to move me back out a short time later? I have also learned a long list of lessons since being here, too many to share all in one blog maybe if I can get back to this on a daily bases I can share it throughout the next year :)
The decision to short sell came with its consequences, I was forced to find a home for my horses and sell all the ranch equipment I owned. That was really hard on me. I loved my animals. I can happily say that we are keeping the dogs. Tarzan can be considered a horse though hahahaha.
The cool and scary part about this whole thing is I know God has been with me all the way!I have been through an emotional roller coaster almost everyday. Between hunting for a new home falling in love with and losing homes we had hopes for having to sell a lot of what I owned.
I also was in a very bad car accident and my car was totaled shortly after that we sold our "fun" car which meant we were a one car family. This has put its toll on us. Having to be a taxi for the entire family has left me exhausted! It didn't help that christmas was over before it began because my husband worked both christmas eve and christmas so I took the girls and stayed with my Mother in Law. We made the best of a bad situation :) the girls had an awesome time and that made my heart happy!
So here we are after the holiday rush selling our House a week after listing it losing a car selling a car finding homes for horses finding homes for us having kids on christmas break! Im beat and hoping to get back to a some what normal routine soon! Quite honestly the biggest lesson I have learned in this last two months is that frankly I do not care where I live or care about what animals I have or the car I drive all I want is for my family, being Jt me and the girls, to be happy, healthy and loving God in all we do! I want to spend more time with my kids and less time trying to build the "perfect" life for them! I want to spend more quiet time with my husband then worrying whether or not our house is clean and well presented. I want to walk the dogs instead of having so many animals that I have no time for any of them!! Im ready to start a new, and what a perfect time to do so right at the start of a new year!! PS I did not plan that one... so Im giving God the credit ;) he knows about my OCD.
I cannot wait to see what God has in store for my family and Ithis coming year and years to come! I anxiously await it with open arms!! Ill do my best to keep you all up to date but can promise you this if I have to choose between my blog and cuddle time with my husband YOU LOSE!! But I still love you all ;) As always thanks for reading!!
LT
For starters we have decided to short sell our home. This was a very hard decisions to make we bought our home almost exactly 5 years ago and have put a lot of hard work special touches and love into it to make it our home. I have made very good friends here in our neighborhood and Alisa has too. I am thankful though, to know that these friendships are built on Jesus Christ and our mutual love for Him so I have faith that although we will be leaving the area they will continue to grow stronger through the years. In fact I cant help but feel, looking back on our past five years here that maybe THEY were the reason God had me here. I mean why else would he move me to a place just to move me back out a short time later? I have also learned a long list of lessons since being here, too many to share all in one blog maybe if I can get back to this on a daily bases I can share it throughout the next year :)
The decision to short sell came with its consequences, I was forced to find a home for my horses and sell all the ranch equipment I owned. That was really hard on me. I loved my animals. I can happily say that we are keeping the dogs. Tarzan can be considered a horse though hahahaha.
The cool and scary part about this whole thing is I know God has been with me all the way!I have been through an emotional roller coaster almost everyday. Between hunting for a new home falling in love with and losing homes we had hopes for having to sell a lot of what I owned.
I also was in a very bad car accident and my car was totaled shortly after that we sold our "fun" car which meant we were a one car family. This has put its toll on us. Having to be a taxi for the entire family has left me exhausted! It didn't help that christmas was over before it began because my husband worked both christmas eve and christmas so I took the girls and stayed with my Mother in Law. We made the best of a bad situation :) the girls had an awesome time and that made my heart happy!
So here we are after the holiday rush selling our House a week after listing it losing a car selling a car finding homes for horses finding homes for us having kids on christmas break! Im beat and hoping to get back to a some what normal routine soon! Quite honestly the biggest lesson I have learned in this last two months is that frankly I do not care where I live or care about what animals I have or the car I drive all I want is for my family, being Jt me and the girls, to be happy, healthy and loving God in all we do! I want to spend more time with my kids and less time trying to build the "perfect" life for them! I want to spend more quiet time with my husband then worrying whether or not our house is clean and well presented. I want to walk the dogs instead of having so many animals that I have no time for any of them!! Im ready to start a new, and what a perfect time to do so right at the start of a new year!! PS I did not plan that one... so Im giving God the credit ;) he knows about my OCD.
I cannot wait to see what God has in store for my family and Ithis coming year and years to come! I anxiously await it with open arms!! Ill do my best to keep you all up to date but can promise you this if I have to choose between my blog and cuddle time with my husband YOU LOSE!! But I still love you all ;) As always thanks for reading!!
LT
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)