So I think I am finally beginning to understand and except how to have a "normal" life within the fire service. I sure wish it hadn't taken me 8 years to start on the right track but hey at least I am getting it now and not 10 years from now when the girls are up and grown.
Driving Alisa to school this morning she starts talking about the "Father/Daughter" dance the PTA is holding at her school this week and she says "I wish dad didn't have to work." My reply? "Well sweetie your Daddies job is different then other daddies. That is why we have to make special time for you and him on our own" We don't have evenings off monday through friday, we do not get weekends off or "summer vacation" heck we dont even get HOLIDAYS and for the longest time I have had trouble trying to make it to weekend birthday parties and baby showers or an evening small group with church friends then of course there is the family who wants to know why you don't want to drive in holiday traffic alone with 3 kids. The "normal" world or most of it plan their lives around this weekend evening schedule thing. Which means for me and the girls if there is a birthday party on saturday and Jt is working we either do not get to go or I play single mom with 3 kids for the day (not fun with a crazy toddler). But the perks to our schedule I am learning out weigh the downsides tremendously! If you can learn to work the system right. The thing is Jts schedule is set out for us for the next 20 years until he retires we can look ahead and in theory see whether or not he is working christmas day in 2015 or Thanksgiving 2020. Also my husband is not home every evening it is sporadic ALWAYS, but unlike my friends husbands he is home sporadic throughout the week. So for example he could be off on any of the weekdays when the girls are in school, perk right!? Now we could do a day thing together or I get his help around the house with out the distraction of all the kids. We can also work around days that we would like to plan something because since you do not get holidays off with his job (people have heart attacks and fires on christmas and thanksgiving too) we get what is called "holiday" time as long as he can find a co worker to take his day then he can put in for holiday time and both guys get paid. So I am slowly getting the hang of this, if I know far enough in advance about a party or event I would like for him to be at as long as we can get the time covered I can have him with me and the girls don't miss out. I mean if you think about it, once all three girls are in school we will get all his weekday days off to our selves! How amazing right!? So my plan is to look far enough ahead this year and book off some vacations for our family so that I do not miss out! I find that as long as I get my family time to refresh and rebuild then Im ready set for the crazy busy thing we call "life" in between! I have also slowly let down my guard with grandparents and have learned they are a VITAL part to my families success! Whether it be they take the girls for a weekend so Jt and I can have time to reconnect or Grammy takes the baby so I can take the older two to a weekend birthday party and not worry about chasing a 2 year old the whole time! Its not easy because my instinct and heart wants my husband to be the one helping but like I told Alisa "Sweetie you daddies job isn't like other daddies jobs" I have to except it and know that he gets to do something he LOVES and to boot feed and care for his family while doing it!! Im not sure how fire families without the extended support do it really! Or the fire families that the wives also work!! I have had to stop everything in order to balance the normal around here! Its hard to be an independent women at heart and be fully dependent on my husband but Ive learned the hard way its the closest to normal my family will ever have and for our peace and our kids peace I have to let go of my old dreams and make new ones! The cool thing is in all of this is that I think they were right... God knows my heart better then I do and He is giving me everything my heart desires even when I had no idea it desired this in the first place! As I make new dreams it feels like they've been there all along!!
So in closing Im getting it, Im learning how to bring "normal" into a not so normal life! ;) Im feeling at peace with it now and I can see blessings of peace being passed down to my girls as I find my own peace in it all! I couldn't ask for more!
LT
No comments:
Post a Comment