Wow! It has been cerazay! Not to mention keeping up emotionally! Our schedule is so out of whack right now! I can hardly tell if I am coming or going half the time. Jt has been working insane hours and then to top it off has been home a day here a day there. Well today he came home just getting off a 72 which is 3 days in a row and I am pretty sure this is my limit. I mean obviously when its fire season there are times he can be gone upwards of weeks but that thank goodness is few and far between. So he came home this morning and man o man were his girls excited to see him!! Including me! :) We had a great morning of reconnecting but of course the honeymoon has to end sometime. Thats what I call it... "The Honeymoon" you know the oh I love you you are so amazing I missed you blah blah blah! That was until we sent the girls outside to play and he decided to have an opinion about it. This is the hard part for 3 days I have been on my own, left to make decisions on my own, no one I need to discuss anything with. Its simple I want something to go a certain way well thats how it goes plain and to the point, and after 3 days I start to get comfortable here. Problem is when he comes home I now have to go bipolar and bust out "Wifey mode" NOT at all easy!! Especially for my stubborn soul. But today was a step in our relationship. Yes we had our usual get down and dirty fight you know to break the silence lol but today was different. Why, I really don't know other then the fact that I have been praying an extra special prayer for God to guard us to protect our marriage and to help us find an easier way through this transition. So we both said things we didnt mean and as soon as the fight hit a high Jt left the room to get away. The frustrating thing about these situations is that for 3 days all I can think about is how much I want him home and as soon as he gets home something like this happens and Im sure we both think it but what goes through my head is hmm maybe you should just go back to work. Really this is not what I want but I also don't want him coming home and acting like life can change at the drop of a hat. So today was really cool because after things got real nasty we both took a big deep breath and sitting on our bed in complete silence I simply said "Im sorry" and after a minute he said it right back. We don't want it to go down this way but for some reason it just does. I am thankful we have hit a point now where we are learning to communicate it a little better. After the "Im sorry's" I cried a little and I opened up to him. I shared that its hard for me to do. I dont understand how to transition without feeling bipolar and I also shared that I think I get a bit prideful that I have done just fine on my own for 3 days "who do you think you are " attitude tends to sneak its way into my head more often then not. It felt really good to be communicating in a healthier way. So I am going to continue praying my prayer because it seems to be doing something. The best part is!!... it was squashed early so we were able to come back together as a family and enjoy the rest of the day! :D If you know us it would be great if you could also pray this specific prayer for us! I am not sure how other fire wives have learned to cope with this adjustment if any of you have any ideas or things that have worked for you I am open and would love to hear! As always thank you thank you for reading! Have a great night! and God Bless!
LT
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