Greet one another with a kiss of Love 1 Peter 5:14. I notice all to often couples who get comfortable to a point where they no longer show affection toward each other or do not say I love you before getting off the phone or when saying good bye.
Jt and i do have moments but it is rare we always kiss goodnight, goodbye and even hello! So I had to get creative with this dare. We joke constantly when we are in public that people probably look at us and think we are a "fresh" couple. We have been through the ringer together and made it through, all to find happy again and it shows! But the times when it is hard is when we are fighting I dont want to kiss and hug and "Oh I love you". Instead, I want to strangle and choke and "You suck because..." but this chapter focused more on greeting. The cool thing is Dr. Laura has already taught me a thing or two about this. In her book "The proper care and feeding of a marriage" she says it like this. If you want your husband to want to come home to be excited to come home then make it a place he can be excited about! ( This is in my own words fyi not quoting book) For example if the minute your husband walks in the door you start in on how horrible your day has been how bad it sucked because you found all his messes you had to clean up then you throw the kids at him etc. and you do this nearly every time he comes home do you think he is going to be anxious with excitement to walk in the door or anxious with worry about what your going to throw at him today? I had personal experience here. While JT was in medic school and working full time life was tough for me with a house, kids, roommates, life got crazy. So I got in the habit of this horrible routine. I would literally throw the kids at him complain for a half hour and then go back to bed or leave to get done things I hadn't been able to with the kids. I started to notice he was gradually getting home later then usual and every so often I would ask what the deal was and he would say "Oh I got to talking with so and so". He was not excited to come home. I wanted him to be ready to come home straight at 730 not because he had to but because he WANTED to. So I made myself a rule I was no longer going to come at him with the kids and complaints instead I would always from this moment on greet him with a hug and kiss and be full of excitement when I saw him! I learned from another read that men have a need to feel wanted a need to be the Hero, and this helps to fill that! I now have a happy husband who comes home anxious to see "his girls" ready to take on all the hugs and kisses we have for him!
The Love Dare says "It doesn't have to be bold and dramatic every time. But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate's heart in subtle, unspoken ways." and can I ad I had got to a point where this negative became comfortable. It was NOT easy to step out of my comfort zone and thats where communication came into play. Its kind of like when you first start dating someone reaching out for a kiss can be nerve racking! How are they going to respond? What are they going to say? I have found in my relationship that when I sincerely put myself out there it is always met with joy and love. In other words JT can see its not easy and he is gentle and appreciates it even more because he knows how hard it was for me to reach out of my comfort zone.
So the dare for the day was to think about how you greet your spouse and make it extra special today! Since Jt and I always greet with a kiss... I got a bit more creative. I would share but its TMI and I know saying that probably has all your imaginations in crazy places hahaha but its NOT at ALL what you think! But I did wake him up in an extra special way. :) He liked it and the dare was checked off my list! Also I am not sure if you are suppose to share with your spouse the happenings of the book but I have been telling him because he would think something crazy was going on if I didn't. I don't think it takes from the effect because he still notices that I am putting my self out there and he can see that I am trying. So I am a quarter of the way through the 40 days and so far I am still alive! ;) Thanks for reading and hope you are all enjoying!
LT
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