Be kind to one another, Tender Hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 That is a loaded verse! I can definitely say I am not always kind in fact I am probably mean more often then not. I was raised by very independent self driven women all of which never seemed to need a man. This has created in me a very independent I don't need anyone especially a man for that matter attitude! Which can I say actually benefits me a lot being married to a firefighter because very often I find myself in situations that require this attitude. The trouble is learning how to put this attitude away when it is not needed. Another thing that came up yesterday while doing this dare was the books definition of "being kind". Let me give you a few examples... "Helpfulness: if its house work you get busy". I often feel like as a stay at home I am obligated to get most of the house work done but it is a rare occasion that I have the house clean and presentable for Jt when he walks in at 8am from his 24 hour shift. This is a special treat for him that I think should happen more often then not. He is a good man who works hard to provide for his family I think he deserves to at least come home to a cleanish house. But all too often I let my laziness, selfishness, or even pride get in the way of me doing this simply because I love him and want to be kind. Next was "Initiative: The kind husband or wife(thats me) will be the one who greets first, serves first, and forgives first". This one struck me a bit. It is often spoke of at church and even in todays society that the Man needs to be the leader that he should go first as a women I always have this in the back of my head while we argue. "Well he needs to be the leader and back down first" or "he should say Im sorry first, its his job to lead us" so to see it here in black and white as a definition of kindness in men AND women well it was like someone said "Liz its ok you can be first it doesnt make him any less a man or a leader". Also I would like to add like I have said in previous post I have seen a lot of change and improvement in our relationship in the past 8 plus years and it has from what I can tell all started with me. Im not saying Jt has not changed he has! But here is the magic and beauty of it all as soon as I let go of what I thought he should fix and change and started to focus on me and what I was not doing as a mom, wife, christian, friend, daughter and so on it was like he had a moment to think I had cleared the air all that bitching and complaining only gave him something to point his finger back at! The weird thing though is anytime I change me to get change from him it never works lol its not the same as me genuinely trying to change and work on me! Frustrating I know!!! lol :) So back to it... the book describes kindness as taking initiative. It also said it means "willingness: Instead of being obstinate, reluctant, or STUBBORN(hahahaha), you cooperate ( let me define that for you CO as in more then one person together OPERATE= function) you know like co-exist and you stay flexible. Yeah this whole part goes against the fiber of my whole being!!!
So I can say i have found more room for improvement. I will give myself this credit though if you knew me 12 years ago and talked with me today you would not know who i was. So as much room for improvement that I have, the gap has definitely been lessoned over the years... Thank GOD!!! Seriously! Also here is a key verse the book shared which stuck out to me for two reasons its famous and I also own the "famous" shirt that comes from this verse... Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So that you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man" Proverbs 3:3-4
I would like to also share with the women reading this... the book mentioned the Proverbs 31 women. This is crazy to me! For months now God has been dropping little hints my way here and there she pops up in my life! So yesterday I decided to use it as a challenge with my small group then I did my devotional and yesterdays devotional spoke of her and here she is AGIAN in the love dare!! Hello! Who could ignore that! lol So needless to say I will be focusing on this women for a while as my example and I am pretty excited about it!
So at the end of the reading for day 2 Love is Kind it asks a direct question that spoke to me in particular, "Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help". I let this be the focus of my dare for the day I made sure to do things for Jt without being asked I took special initiative that I dont usually take and I did things ahead of time. Since he was at work this made it somewhat easy for me to complete day 1 dare being patient. When we talked on the phone things were at a point where I could have been mean instead of patient. It was last night around 11:00pm we were all done talking about our days and catching up and he insisted that I promise I will go to bed early and not stay up late. It first made me feel like a child and also I had a list of things to finish for the evening still so I was feeling offended I felt like I was being treated as if I stay up late on purpose! The evening is my only chance to get things done without the kids so I have to take advantage. Instead of blowing up and getting angry with him... I took a BIG deep breath and calmly said " Jonathan, I am doing the best I can to work on myself right now I am personally struggling with my lack of time management, so its hurtful that you would be so harsh with me when I also do not want to be up late but you need to know I am aware of my schedule being off and want to work on it but tonight I have things I need to get done I am not staying up late blowing time on FB I am doing thing worth while and need to get done then I will go to bed." (lol I know it sounds like a freakin therapy session!!!! I hate therapy in case you were wondering haha another thing I need to work on what do you know) any who so guess what the cool part was... instead of it being a fight. My calm patient response to him in turn received a calm patient response back!! He said "Im sorry, I only worry that you will be tired tomorrow and its also harder to deal with you when you are tired and cranky". Hahaha he said it calmly and truth is he is right! So we said goodnight and yahoo! I was able to check two days off in the book!! Oh but also can I say being kind to someone who is not home makes for an interesting day! I did lots of housework and prepared for a BBQ with friends so that Jt has less to take care of! That was me taking initiative :D
So lets end with this its been two days but seriously this is already so tough, to be watching my Ps and Qs almost constantly! It feels like it has been weeks! So I say this to whoever is reading... DO NOT TAKE THIS DARE LIGTLY!! Its friggein tough!! But well worth it so far! :) Thanks for reading! Hope you've enjoyed it! On to Love Dare Day 3...
LT
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