Love Dare Day 10

  This book is kicking my butt!! I am enjoying every minute of it, but wow! Seriously, it is NOT at all easy to keep up with! I strongly urge anyone looking to start this book to make sure to be prepared mentally for a challenge and pray that God with help you be "moldable" (open to growth). In fact if you cant wrap your mind around that last sentence I suggest you put the book on a shelf and pray until you feel like you are in a place of real honest and open growth.

  Day 10 Love is unconditional. You would think we knew this before we stood up to say our vows. "Until death do us part" "For Richer or poorer" "In sickness and in health" the sad reality is that most of us just don't think the bad ones are going to happen, but they do! In my case poor JT got the bad end of the stick, hahahaha no I kid, we both had a lot to learn about each other. But you know what I have something to say to those of you out there living with your boyfriend or girlfriend "playing" house. I lived with my husband for nearly 4 years before we were married. It is not true. It is NOT just a piece of paper and until you put yourself so far out to say out loud to stand up in front of the world and make a commitment to each other you do not get the fullness the beauty of what REAL marriage can be! To feel completely safe that you belong to each other and no one else! I cant really put into words exactly what Im trying to say other then I went down the "playing house" road and it is NOT the same as having a family making it a real commitment, and truth be known we both had our fears I come from a VERY divorced family and was afraid to face the reality that one day I might suffer the same fate. But when we did finally "take the plunge" it was the craziest thing, I had such a peace about it all! I was finally home! I was safe and loved. Now time to get really real! ;) This is where unconditional comes in. I mentioned I come from a broken family and with that comes emotional baggage I am pretty sure this is the sickness our vows are referring to. I mean, really, who is going to get divorced over a cold?! I mean maybe the flu!? lol. But the truth is we are all sick in some way, we all have issues of sorts and as soon as that commitment is made its like this... Okay Im home! Time to unpack all my crap!! LOL. Ever been to a hotel? Do you unpack? No because you are not staying there. It feels like home because there are dressers night stands closets even a coffee pot if your lucky :). You "play" house at hotels. But at home you know you are staying! So you unpack! My poor husband, we married 2 or 3 years ago ( I would have to look at "the paper" to know for sure) and I have been unpacking my crap ever since. He has too, but in a different way then me. This is where the book comes in I have my way of unpacking and sorting through my things and he has a whole other way of dealing with his suitcase. But I said to him, and the world, "through sickness and health". What this chapter says is that when we are first together yes we fall in love because of the friendship and the sex. We also have a list of things we love our partner for sweet, kind, strong, good cook. What if these things changed? What then? I was very happy, I usually am very happy but the past few years I have "unpacked" a few "ish-shoes" that have refreshed some pains and hurts I went through as a young child. Jt had to make a choice to love me through the times I wasn't so happy. The book basically says there comes a point that you have to love just because! You have to love  no matter what! Its easier I think to understand this kind of love when you have kids because I do love my kids regardless. I don't always like what they do but I always love them. There is a special place in my heart for them a place they can come when they are sad and need love lonely and what to know they are not alone mad and to know its ok they are human and being mad comes with the territory and I still love them! This is how we have to become with our spouse. I will end by quoting part of this chapter "But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless yo allow God to begin growing His love within you. Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things 1 Corinthians 13:7 this does not come from within. It can only come from God." You will need God because us human beings don't have a loving heart and it is not easy to love someone through the hard times this is when we need to look to, have faith in, and trust that God with Love US through it.

    I feel like all the previous chapters were setting me up and preparing me for this one. If I can get my selfishness out of the way learn to be patient and to find hope in the future I can Love Jt more easily when times get tough. Its easier when i humble myself. When i remember that Jesus Christ laid down his life for ME!! When I am honest with myself and set aside my pride my eyes are opened to the fact that I too am hard to love but God still does! Here's to learning to love the "unloveable" myself included.

                                                    LT