Love Dare Day 6, and 7 (Love is not irritable & Love believes the best)

     First off I would like to apologize for the break in my posts. The last few days hit me like a ton of bricks. I was blindsided by my own lack of attention to details. To catch you up, let me start with how day 6 went because that went somewhat well and the story should go by very quickly.

   Day 6 this part of the book had some very valid points that I really liked! I will share and then finish with how I did with the Dare myself. Love Dare Day 6: Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. Why do people become irritable? There are at least two key reasons that contribute to it: Stress.Stress weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your health and invites you to be cranky. It can be brought on by relational causes: arguing, division,and bitterness. There are excessive causes: overworking, overplaying and overspending. And there are deficiencies: not getting enough rest, nutrition, or exercise. Oftentimes we inflict these daggers on ourselves, and this sets us up to be irritable.

  I really liked this paragraph it points out that our lack of attention to ourselves and our schedule and not keeping a balanced schedule can basically set us up for failure. I can happily say that over the last couple of years living with roommates, overspending and overworking opened my eyes to this. Although i loved sharing my home with family that was going through struggles and having the opportunity to Love on someone through Jesus' eyes was awesome and taught me a lot about Love it also taught me though, that I have to be more careful and protective of my time with my spouse making a conscious effort to spend quality quiet time together. Also I, let me repeat that, I was overspending which would cause fights because when things would get tight I would get stressed and freak about any little dime spent but the sickness of the situation was I, let me repeat that again, I was putting us there. Then there was Jt "overworking" now this was for family improvement because he was in school full time but had to continue to work full time to pay the bills. I only say this because all though it was necessary it still taught me that we do need balance in our life. So I was very excited to read this chapter and to have at least started the steps to working toward a more balanced life. It does help to relieve stress and Lord knows I need all the help I can get in this area ;). The Dare for this was to choose to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of irritation. To begin by making a list of areas you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life. Check.

   So on to day 7... I am going to tell you the story of how yesterday went before I tell you about the dare because I think God is a very funny Being who has a sense of humor. All too often I run off on my own, acting like oh "I've got this" and all too often I forget the bigger picture, I DONT "got this" not without God that is! So Yesterday morning I woke up 6am to give me plenty of time to get reading for church and do my reading before I left. Well I spent my morning unwisely and was not quite ready to leave when i should have at 8am. To top it off the girls, outta no where decided that they wanted to go with me early to church ( I volunteer a service and then Jt and the girls meet me after and we go to a service) So of course I was not going to say no! I am suppose to be to church by 830am and I did not leave my house until 830. It did not help that Jt was getting home from an OT shift, he got home at 8am. I was so mad at him because he was off doing yard work before I even left. I was stressed and then to top it off he wasnt even thinking "How can I help her get herself and the kids off in time". So I rushed to church and the day was filled, I did not read my Love Dare in the morning so I had no clue what I should have been doing. We go to church and then afterward I had a Partylite Party to attend at 1pm. I got out of church at 1pm. Jt took the girls and left I was headed to the party but we had switched cars. I went out to the parking lot to jump in the car and rush off but the car was not parked in its "usually" spot in fact I did not see it anywhere in the parking lot! I was hot, rushing the clock, tired and stressed which caused me to be irritable! lol. That was not the worst of it though I go to call Jt to find out where he parked because I would rather not walk the huge parking lot in he heat. But what do you know? He doesnt answer! Hmm once again he is all good, so life is good. Right? Wrong. Hello!!! Your wife is lost in a parking lot in the heat you jerk! Thanks for paying attention to your phone in case i need you or God forbid i have a REAL emergency! At this point I was pissed! It gets worse, just wait!! So he finally calls back but he is irritated with me as if I should have known where the car was!! Really?! I am not a mind reader! We hang up. I get to the car and realize I had left my notebook with the address for the party in the truck!! So I call JT to have Alisa read me the address... guess what!? HE DIDNT ANSWER!!!! Literally 2 seconds later!! I figured it out, went on my phone (thank goodness for smart phones) found the invite on my Fb and typed the address into my navigation. Guess what!!? IT WASNT WORKING!! So here I am pissed at my husband for his lack of attention to me sitting in a car with a broken AC and now I have to figure out where this party is. Not to mention I have yet to eat! No breakfast or snack but I did have coffee which of course after it wears off makes you even more hungry!! But this is where a little light came into my life! That morning in Flips Flops my Director had given me a snickers bar! I remembered this and thought yahoo! at least I can snack on that to tide me over until I get to the party! I soooo needed to sit and relax with good girlfriends!!! I found the party and all was good. But the day didnt end there! When I got home at 4 everyone was sleeping including Jt which to me was no big deal I needed to get started on dinner anyways. But when I got in the truck to go get the groceries for dinner the gas light was still on! Oh I forgot to mention that part, when I got in the truck to go to church the gas light popped on. So I had to make it to church on fumes! Which means the gas light was on for him when he drove home but he chose to just go home. Instead of going to the store and coming home to cook an extra errand was added to my list thanks to his lack of attention to detail! At this point Id had enough! I came home after getting gas and groceries he was still sleeping and the girls were all up!! When I started in on dinner they all started bugging me for things of course. So (oooowahahaha insert evil laugh here) I went into the bedroom where he was sleeping so peacefully and yelled "JONATHAN!!" he jumped up straight out of sleep and I said in a normal voice " the girls are up and I am cooking dinner so you need to get up and help me". He had been sleeping for 3 hours at this point! So after that we had our argument, I vented said what I had to say he said his peace and we still couldnt squash it. We did eventually but it was not until after dinner around 930pm. It had been such a loooong day! I never read my Love Dare, I had decided I would wake up this morning and start fresh. So remember how I said i think God has a sense of Humor? Keep all of this in mind while I talk to you about what YESTERDAYs love dare SHOULD have been! 

   Love Dare Day 7... Love believes the best! I sure wish for effectiveness I could type out this whole chapter for you. But I wont. In short This chapter says we all have a room in our heart that holds all the appreciations we have for our spouse's. "Wonderful cook" "honest" "pretty eyes" the list goes on. But we ALSO have a "depreciation room" where we have all the negative thinks we know about our spouse "laziness" "lack of attention to detail" this list also goes on. It says this is the room where divorces are planned and evil plans are plotted. In relationships, with love, by choice, we have to choose to limit our time in this room only going to it when we need to know what to pray for our spouse and also to paint in huge letters on the walls "COVERED IN LOVE". So do you see now why i think God has a sense of humor? If only I had MADE the time to read this chapter before my day had started yesterday. Oh how different my mindset would have been! But NOOO I had to be rushing around, not being thoughtful, prepared, or balanced and for that my relationship with my husband suffered yesterday. That is how God works by the way, HIS plan was for me to read it before the day started because he knew I would need to here it but i chose a different path. But the best part is through it all God still won! And I still learned something in fact I learned two things. First I should not ignore the negatives in Jt but instead of going to them only when I am mad I need to bring them to his attention in quiet, calm discussions when we are both open and willing to communicate also I need to go to them when I need to know what to pray for him. Second, I learned God is good. Which of course I already knew but I need reminders often! Because I am dense!! This was a great reminder and God showed me His "humoress" side which was nice too!

 The Dare for this day is to make a list of each room. The "appreciation room" and the "depreciation room" set them aside because you will need them later on in the book. Then choose one thing from the appreciation list to say Thank you to your spouse for. I have not made my lists yet but as soon as I am done with this post I am on it ;) I hope you have enjoyed reading this and my prayer for you is that you can possibly learn a little from my mistakes. Thank you for reading leave a comment if you like I LOVE to hear from you all! 

                                                                   LT