Well JT came home this morning as usually we gave our BIG hello hugs and kisses. We are always happy when daddy comes home safely. I cant always say I am happy with what he brings home or at least the idea of what he brings home though :/.
This morning as soon as I went to give him a hug I smelled smoke! Eeewww! Now most of the time its when he has been on a fire. The smell comes home on his clothes mostly and it smells kind of like he was either standing next to a BBQ (which usually means kitchen fire) or it just smells like he stood too close to a fire pit either way the smell doesn't bother me too bad. He will shower change and wash his clothes and like new its over. But this morning it was not a "good" smelling smoke. It was cigarette smoke he smelled like an ash tray!!! I told him right away, giving him a hard time said "I quit smoking for a reason!" He HAD to get in the shower and QUICK. It was horrible. He runs quite a few calls in one shift and more now that he has been transferred to a busier station. On each call he faces all sorts of things. So it makes me wonder what the heck else is on his clothes!! I am a BIG germaphobe (if that is even a real word) lol. So its best I dont even try to imagine. I just have to put my mind at ease by reminding myself that he too is addicted to lysol, dial soap, and the beauty of personal hygiene!! Phew! Thanks goodness.
Its actually amazing to think that through it all we still manage to have a somewhat healthy happy family. Lord knows what could happen or what he could catch in his "field" of work! The possibilities are endless!!
LT
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
How I do all I do in a day...
God. The end. :)
Ok fine I will explain only a little ;). Its simple really when you look at my life and really think about all I do even I myself am amazed and when people ask me this question or mention "I do not know how you do it" all that comes to mind is Him because when things get tight with my schedule and I get stressed I take a minute and rest in Him whether it be for renewed strength or to be reminded I need to take a breath and enjoy my kids. The list goes on. I lean on Him for it all. I used to fall into the horrible trap of leaning on my poor husband and as amazing as he is he is still human and at times will still fail me its not fair to him or our marriage God has called me to much more then that.
So in conclusion regardless of what I am in need for whether it be Joy peace strength understanding I ALWAYS turn to Him! I try my hardest to stay open to all He has in store for me and I truly believe that if He has called me to it He will also get me through it!!
LT
Ok fine I will explain only a little ;). Its simple really when you look at my life and really think about all I do even I myself am amazed and when people ask me this question or mention "I do not know how you do it" all that comes to mind is Him because when things get tight with my schedule and I get stressed I take a minute and rest in Him whether it be for renewed strength or to be reminded I need to take a breath and enjoy my kids. The list goes on. I lean on Him for it all. I used to fall into the horrible trap of leaning on my poor husband and as amazing as he is he is still human and at times will still fail me its not fair to him or our marriage God has called me to much more then that.
So in conclusion regardless of what I am in need for whether it be Joy peace strength understanding I ALWAYS turn to Him! I try my hardest to stay open to all He has in store for me and I truly believe that if He has called me to it He will also get me through it!!
LT
Sunday, October 30, 2011
What do you do all day?
So I had a close friend over this past week to help me pack and toward the end of our visit she asked me "So what do you do all day?" I know in type its sounds kind of bad but she did not mean it that way she was sincerely asking. Or at least I hope so ;) lol no really she was. She continued with I would get bored. The truth is I actually get this a lot. It got me thinking. I know what I do all day in fact I do not stop but why is it that people look at my life and think to ask this question? I have written posts on my random schedule before but I am not sure I have ever really dived into detail. Don't worry I am not going to start now! :) But the truth is I do much more then the average person.
This is not because I am a fire wife (well partly but I'll explain that in a minute) it is more because I am a stay at home mom of 3 kids. Most of what I do in a day is clean up after the kids and since we only have one school age kid at the moment I still have 2 following behind me while I clean up and they are so sweetly making more messes for me to get to later. Not only am I cleaning up after them but I am also making sure they get fed and bathed while I too do the same for myself. On top of all that I also run a few businesses because contrary to popular belief my Fire Fighter husband does not make millions!! So I am not only trying to save us on childcare cost but I am also trying to supplement the income ever so slightly by continuing with as much of my own business as I can squeeze in between my daily chores. Then there is the constant pull of the world at every single limb because I apparently sit around and eat bon bons all day so I often get people stopping by unannounced just to chat. Oh how about if I do not respond to a text right away!!! How DARE I!!? I mean Im not busy, right?!! Well the truth is kids do not take care of themselves and we were tapped with having one kid in childcare! The cost was upwards to 800 a month for full time!! I cant imagine 3 kids in even part time childcare!! So to answer the question... I take care of kids MOST of the time and any free time I get if at all I am busy trying to knit, take a client or maybe even if I get lucky do something JUST for me!! It is not easy but I love it and I am slowly learning to put my foot down when it comes to my job. Maybe from the outside it looks like I sit around and do nothing all day but that is because I am good at what I do so I more often then not look like I am doing "nothing" when in reality I am being a Nanny, housekeeper, Laundry Mat, Mechanic, Tutor, Personal chef, Crafter, Knitter, Librarian, Fashion Designer, Photographer, Dog walker, Diaper Genie, Accountant, Friend, Seamstress, Organizer, Party Planner, Assistant, Personal shopper, PDA, Answering machine, Counselor, therapist, Taxi Driver, Bill payer, I could keep going but I think I have got my point across :) So I hope that answers your question... I think the real question should be "What DONT I do all day?" Oh, to find balance lol in my dreams!!
Thanks as always for reading!
LT
This is not because I am a fire wife (well partly but I'll explain that in a minute) it is more because I am a stay at home mom of 3 kids. Most of what I do in a day is clean up after the kids and since we only have one school age kid at the moment I still have 2 following behind me while I clean up and they are so sweetly making more messes for me to get to later. Not only am I cleaning up after them but I am also making sure they get fed and bathed while I too do the same for myself. On top of all that I also run a few businesses because contrary to popular belief my Fire Fighter husband does not make millions!! So I am not only trying to save us on childcare cost but I am also trying to supplement the income ever so slightly by continuing with as much of my own business as I can squeeze in between my daily chores. Then there is the constant pull of the world at every single limb because I apparently sit around and eat bon bons all day so I often get people stopping by unannounced just to chat. Oh how about if I do not respond to a text right away!!! How DARE I!!? I mean Im not busy, right?!! Well the truth is kids do not take care of themselves and we were tapped with having one kid in childcare! The cost was upwards to 800 a month for full time!! I cant imagine 3 kids in even part time childcare!! So to answer the question... I take care of kids MOST of the time and any free time I get if at all I am busy trying to knit, take a client or maybe even if I get lucky do something JUST for me!! It is not easy but I love it and I am slowly learning to put my foot down when it comes to my job. Maybe from the outside it looks like I sit around and do nothing all day but that is because I am good at what I do so I more often then not look like I am doing "nothing" when in reality I am being a Nanny, housekeeper, Laundry Mat, Mechanic, Tutor, Personal chef, Crafter, Knitter, Librarian, Fashion Designer, Photographer, Dog walker, Diaper Genie, Accountant, Friend, Seamstress, Organizer, Party Planner, Assistant, Personal shopper, PDA, Answering machine, Counselor, therapist, Taxi Driver, Bill payer, I could keep going but I think I have got my point across :) So I hope that answers your question... I think the real question should be "What DONT I do all day?" Oh, to find balance lol in my dreams!!
Thanks as always for reading!
LT
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The dreaded afternoon nap...
The dreaded "afternoon nap"! If you are married to a Fireman know a Fireman have a son whatever, you know what I am about to talk about! Our life has turned upside down this month we are moving but where and when we do not know. Our oldest obviously started back at school, my clientele has nearly doubled and not to mention on top of my writing two blogs I have added etsy shop owner to my list of "jobs". I also made a very big decision to step down from volunteering in the childcare for my church because I was feeling called to volunteering more with the creative teams and women's groups at our church. OH and did I mention I am also going to be starting to teach gardening classes while co-managing a co-op garden phew! Well I am sure that I've missed a few things I always do there is way to much to keep track of, now let me explain how being married to a Fireman factors into that schedule.
Today we met with our realtor to figure out the details of an offer we got on our house. I needed to have the house semi presentable for new pictures she wanted to take but Jt was working yesterday so I had to clean on top of my "being a single parent" for the day. So I got what I could done and packed another box which was exciting but its hard too because we are not sure when this move will happen so I have to pack what we are for sure not going to be using so the china my summer wardrobe etc. Anyway So Jt got home this morning eyes blood shot and he was spinning this is a normal thing. Blood shot eyes are my sign he has been up a few times through the night, and the spinning is my sign he has had his share of coffee for the morning! So he comes home and of course wants to talk about the night catch up the usually but today we needed to do this while cleaning which is fine since he is all crazy and hyper from the coffee. So we run circles around the house cleaning talking yelling trying to settle back in to "Im married" again. The appointment went well pictures were taken and our realtor leaves. We all sit down to eat lunch and as soon as I am done I went off to do something, OH thts right stress about what else we can get done to move forward with the whole situation. Then I notice it.... the house is dead silent. Yup, its nap time! Instead of getting some packing done cleaning some more running much needed errands, he goes to sleep!!! I use to get so upset! Truth is I cant fight it! He has been trained for 10+ years sleep when you can! His sleep schedule is so out of whack and it will be until the day he dies, I think! I read a story about a Fireman who had suffered a stroke and every time a load noise would go off in the hospital he would wake and start trying to move later he told someone he thought the tones were going off. I've learned the hard way that this nap needs to happen in order to have a halfway functioning husband. Knowing that the nap needs to happen has not made it any easier to deal with. I am a never sleep kind of girl! There is way too much to do, I will go go go until Im dead. I have however learned to appreciate a nap here and there since being married to JT but most days while he is sleeping my stress over what he is NOT getting done while sleeping keeps me way too spun to relax and take a nap along side him. The positive to this is that our kids sleep well and the whole house minus mom are asleep mid day which free's up some time for me to clean, do laundry, relax in the quiet or maybe even write a quick little blog ;) Maybe one day when the kids are older Ill find a way to end up on his sleep schedule but until then I will just have to be content with his crash and burn kind of schedule. Its is like clock work I tell you EVERYDAY right after lunch! To be honest I feel the same way about naps as I do about going pee they are a huge inconvenience I have way too much to get done in a day! Wish he felt the same. Thanks as always for reading I would love to hear what you think leave a comment. Does your Fireman have this same sleep pattern and if so how do you deal?
LT
Today we met with our realtor to figure out the details of an offer we got on our house. I needed to have the house semi presentable for new pictures she wanted to take but Jt was working yesterday so I had to clean on top of my "being a single parent" for the day. So I got what I could done and packed another box which was exciting but its hard too because we are not sure when this move will happen so I have to pack what we are for sure not going to be using so the china my summer wardrobe etc. Anyway So Jt got home this morning eyes blood shot and he was spinning this is a normal thing. Blood shot eyes are my sign he has been up a few times through the night, and the spinning is my sign he has had his share of coffee for the morning! So he comes home and of course wants to talk about the night catch up the usually but today we needed to do this while cleaning which is fine since he is all crazy and hyper from the coffee. So we run circles around the house cleaning talking yelling trying to settle back in to "Im married" again. The appointment went well pictures were taken and our realtor leaves. We all sit down to eat lunch and as soon as I am done I went off to do something, OH thts right stress about what else we can get done to move forward with the whole situation. Then I notice it.... the house is dead silent. Yup, its nap time! Instead of getting some packing done cleaning some more running much needed errands, he goes to sleep!!! I use to get so upset! Truth is I cant fight it! He has been trained for 10+ years sleep when you can! His sleep schedule is so out of whack and it will be until the day he dies, I think! I read a story about a Fireman who had suffered a stroke and every time a load noise would go off in the hospital he would wake and start trying to move later he told someone he thought the tones were going off. I've learned the hard way that this nap needs to happen in order to have a halfway functioning husband. Knowing that the nap needs to happen has not made it any easier to deal with. I am a never sleep kind of girl! There is way too much to do, I will go go go until Im dead. I have however learned to appreciate a nap here and there since being married to JT but most days while he is sleeping my stress over what he is NOT getting done while sleeping keeps me way too spun to relax and take a nap along side him. The positive to this is that our kids sleep well and the whole house minus mom are asleep mid day which free's up some time for me to clean, do laundry, relax in the quiet or maybe even write a quick little blog ;) Maybe one day when the kids are older Ill find a way to end up on his sleep schedule but until then I will just have to be content with his crash and burn kind of schedule. Its is like clock work I tell you EVERYDAY right after lunch! To be honest I feel the same way about naps as I do about going pee they are a huge inconvenience I have way too much to get done in a day! Wish he felt the same. Thanks as always for reading I would love to hear what you think leave a comment. Does your Fireman have this same sleep pattern and if so how do you deal?
LT
Monday, September 19, 2011
Love Dare Day 16 (Love Intercedes)
Okay so its official I am back on track today's Dare at first seems easy and doable. This chapters simply says that God gives us overwhelming insight into our spouse not so we can constantly nag (Lord knows us women are good at that!) but so that we are able to better understand what to pray for them. So the dare is to pray for three specific things and for privacy purposes I wont be sharing what I will be praying for JT. You know you would think this was an easy dare but truth is I would much rather nag. Its in my nature. Praying on the other hand takes time and effort. I also believe that praying for others is a selfless act. We are surrounded by things and situation that teach us its all about me! I am a very selfish person at heart I have to work at not being this way. So having to pray for him and not nag I am not only letting it go and giving it to God to handle but I am also taking away from me because if I truly give it up then I should stop the nagging, right? I can say this, as hard as this day will be it sure is a walk in the park compared to the "Honorable" day. This one wont stretch me as far! (lol) Selfish I know!! Hey I'm a work in progress!!
LT
LT
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Im giving it all up...
Today has been a day! What do ya know? I know, nothing new right? When is my life not hectic or taking a crazy turn? But today I've been extra sensitive!! I hate being a women on days like this. In a nut shell I had an opportunity arise a couple of years ago that I really have not put much effort into. I have also chose to respect others involved, you know I was careful to not "step on any toes". Today was a huge slap in my face for doing so! Am I upset with the way it turned out? Yes, I've cried about it a lot today. Am I going to let it bring me down? No, or at least I will do my best not to. I know my God has a plan for my life a BIG one and this is a small and simple thing that in the big picture really means jack crap! So now I just have to push past all my girly mushy crappy feelings. Not take it personal because IT NEVER IS and move on. Life is too short and at the end of the day do I care who does the job? NO, I care whether or not the job got done, and in this case it has! Am I happy with the results nope not really but like I said my God has called me to bigger things and I have to be still and know that he is God and my time will come... in fact it already has. So I am giving it all up and I know, that for that, I will be blessed with bigger and better in His sight! Thanks for listening to my little vent session! Good night!
LT
LT
Friday, September 9, 2011
Love Dare Day 15 (Love is Honorable) Part 2
Thats right you read the title right! I am back in the book I will not give up! There are no rules in the front that say you have to do this straight through no break. Or that you have to do a chapter a day! So I am making my own rules which is what I do best (with guidance from God of course ;) lol.
I really was stumped on this chapter like I had mentioned before I was raised by women and all the men around me deserved little to no respect. Well thats not entirely true... my Grandpa and my Uncle Mike but Grandpa lives in Texas and Uncle Mike is in the Air Force and lives in Florida retired as we speak so I didnt get a lot of interaction with them growing up.Let me give an Honorable mention also to my Step Dad Lee who loves and cares for my mom (and we know thats a hard job ;) ;) Love you mom). So point is I have a really hard time in the respect your man department! Not only that but I believe society has taken a huge turn in this department women and men are equal and women are in no way expected to respect their male counter parts. I highly disagree in this belief for two reasons I do have a man that deserves respect he is not my equal he is above and beyond what I ever could be when Im scared at night he is the one to get up and search the house if things get crazy he is my rock my calm in the storm. I will not deny that. I just have a hard time expressing that in words but the feelings are there. So I am going to move on from this chapter and not be so hard on myself. The truth is I love and absolutely respect JT he has been so many things to me that I never had in a man. Id like to add he has met my crazy and he is still here does that not warrant respect? I think if all of us women were honest about it we would realize the same thing. They dont have to put up with us they choose to because they love us. I only know a handleful of women that dont threaten to leave the relationship the minute something ugly about the man shows itself!! Men dont do this ladies. We should give them credit for that! Unless they are a lying cheater and at that point he doesnt deserve respect and you should move on ;) lol please dont take any of this too serious the last thing I need is someone to come up to me and say "Oh I left him blah blah blah". Ok so point being I have yet to get through a whole day where I havent had at least one moment that made me feel like I suck because I disrecpect JT with my words! I have a strong spirit its hard to keep under control! But I have grown a lot so I believe there is hope for me yet!!! Just not perfection right at this moment. Wish me luck I do still have 25 days to go! Who knows what this book has in store for me!!
LT
I really was stumped on this chapter like I had mentioned before I was raised by women and all the men around me deserved little to no respect. Well thats not entirely true... my Grandpa and my Uncle Mike but Grandpa lives in Texas and Uncle Mike is in the Air Force and lives in Florida retired as we speak so I didnt get a lot of interaction with them growing up.Let me give an Honorable mention also to my Step Dad Lee who loves and cares for my mom (and we know thats a hard job ;) ;) Love you mom). So point is I have a really hard time in the respect your man department! Not only that but I believe society has taken a huge turn in this department women and men are equal and women are in no way expected to respect their male counter parts. I highly disagree in this belief for two reasons I do have a man that deserves respect he is not my equal he is above and beyond what I ever could be when Im scared at night he is the one to get up and search the house if things get crazy he is my rock my calm in the storm. I will not deny that. I just have a hard time expressing that in words but the feelings are there. So I am going to move on from this chapter and not be so hard on myself. The truth is I love and absolutely respect JT he has been so many things to me that I never had in a man. Id like to add he has met my crazy and he is still here does that not warrant respect? I think if all of us women were honest about it we would realize the same thing. They dont have to put up with us they choose to because they love us. I only know a handleful of women that dont threaten to leave the relationship the minute something ugly about the man shows itself!! Men dont do this ladies. We should give them credit for that! Unless they are a lying cheater and at that point he doesnt deserve respect and you should move on ;) lol please dont take any of this too serious the last thing I need is someone to come up to me and say "Oh I left him blah blah blah". Ok so point being I have yet to get through a whole day where I havent had at least one moment that made me feel like I suck because I disrecpect JT with my words! I have a strong spirit its hard to keep under control! But I have grown a lot so I believe there is hope for me yet!!! Just not perfection right at this moment. Wish me luck I do still have 25 days to go! Who knows what this book has in store for me!!
LT
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Crazy came back around today...
In the form of a Snake Lizard!! Do you remember the Bunny story? I do CLEARLY!!! Im telling you Mi Vida Loca!! Dude! These things always happen when JT is GONE!! First major animal incident I had was a bird getting stuck in my house! I coaxed him with seed that did not work and quite frankly I really cant remember how I ended up getting him out! Animals, wild in particular tend to LOVE getting in to my house! I feel like Im in the back country its insane!
So I had a semi normal morning. A friend came over for coffee and we ended up balancing and budgeting my bills... FUN STUFF!! Not. Alisa came home from school had her snack and relaxed a bit. I had some little zucchini going bad leftover from my garden so i gave it to the girls to take out to our goat for a snack. While they were down the hill I was standing by the back door, I look down near my cowgirl boots and THERE IT IS!!!! A friggin snake lizard! BIG DEEP BREATH! I hate snakes and I hate them more when they have legs! I will probably have a convo with God on why these were created. I mean I am sure he has his plan he always does. Im just curious because honestly my small little human brain does not understand! So I freak but you couldn't tell if you were watching me. Not yet anyway! lol I slowing open up the back door so that I dont scare him off into the house more and I yell at the girls to stay outside! Of course they come running up "what mom why? whats going on!?" At this point I had just shut the door and locked em out. So I go to the kitchen window, open it and explain to them whats going on. Alisa tells Abby "Hurry, get up on the chair its going to get us!" LOL So my girls are outside on the back porch standing on the patio chairs just like the old ladies in the Looney Tunes commercials used to do when there was a mouse running around! hahaha. I get back to work. I get a big cup and a plate thinking Ill "encourage him" to go into the cup when he does Ill put the plate on top so he cant jump out ( I am really not positive lizards can even jump) Ill carry him outside and viola crisis averted! Uh, yeah, well thats not exactly what went down. I go to "encourage" him into the cup and he FLIES around the cup toward me and then back under a china case I have by our back door!!!!!!! I will leave it to your imagination as to how I reacted to this because anything you imagine could not be anywhere close to how dramatic the scene was at this point!!! Where is a man when you need him!? Oh and can I add to your visual? lmbo! I decided before I started this venture that I should "suit up" with a pair of my horse working gloves (that way he doesnt bite me) and JTs size 15 cowboy boots (my boots that fit me just right were too close to the lizard for me to grab, at least I thought so anyway :/ ) Ok so back on track. He is now under the cabinet. So my next genius idea is "ooh, I know, Ill bring crash inside (this is my husky) and he will save the day! Be the hunter he was bread to be, catch the lizard take him outside and viola! crisis averted!" hahahaha Just like plan A, plan B didn't work out quite the way I'd had hoped! I bring crash in and lure him to the scene with treats (this is where I went wrong!) that was it! He was on ME and those treats like a fly on poop! I even threw some treats at the lizard thinking it will make the lizard run then crash will notice and catch him and we can be done! Nope not so much. I gave up on crash and this is where it gets sad for me! I hate snake lizards but I do not wish to harm or torture them! It was my last hope :/ I couldn't have this thing stay in my house and get bigger then one of the girls find it and get hurt! I took a wooden pole I had lying by the back door and tried to scare him toward the back door he would not budge!!! So I did it!!! I went to hit and kill him aiming for his head so it would be quick! That did not work! I lopped off his tail!! The tail starts bouncing around like it has a mind of is own! I wont tell you what I did at that point other then once again like a cartoon or a movie when someone finds a bug on themselves and freaks jumping and running get it off get it off!! Thats the closest I could describe it! I couldn't take it I had to get him! I go after him again! This time still dont get his head! instead his ARM!! This poor lizard is now without a tail or an arm!! I did the best I could to get him outside and thinking ok crash with finish the job. No he didnt he LICKED!!! thats right LICKED!! it! I am happy to say the tail stopped moving and the lizard was officially dead about 5 minutes later :( I almost threw up I was so sad!!! It was the worst animal experience ever! What else was I suppose to do!!?
I am sure this is not the last time something like this will happen while JT is away. I wish it would be, but it wont! Maybe I will have PETA knocking down my door tomorrow! I saw the snake skin video!! I know!! Its not a good thing! If I could have done it any other way I would have. I just cant seem to shake crazy! It follows me wherever I go! Thanks for reading as always and please dont send me hate mail! I am torturing myself enough for all of us!!
LT
So I had a semi normal morning. A friend came over for coffee and we ended up balancing and budgeting my bills... FUN STUFF!! Not. Alisa came home from school had her snack and relaxed a bit. I had some little zucchini going bad leftover from my garden so i gave it to the girls to take out to our goat for a snack. While they were down the hill I was standing by the back door, I look down near my cowgirl boots and THERE IT IS!!!! A friggin snake lizard! BIG DEEP BREATH! I hate snakes and I hate them more when they have legs! I will probably have a convo with God on why these were created. I mean I am sure he has his plan he always does. Im just curious because honestly my small little human brain does not understand! So I freak but you couldn't tell if you were watching me. Not yet anyway! lol I slowing open up the back door so that I dont scare him off into the house more and I yell at the girls to stay outside! Of course they come running up "what mom why? whats going on!?" At this point I had just shut the door and locked em out. So I go to the kitchen window, open it and explain to them whats going on. Alisa tells Abby "Hurry, get up on the chair its going to get us!" LOL So my girls are outside on the back porch standing on the patio chairs just like the old ladies in the Looney Tunes commercials used to do when there was a mouse running around! hahaha. I get back to work. I get a big cup and a plate thinking Ill "encourage him" to go into the cup when he does Ill put the plate on top so he cant jump out ( I am really not positive lizards can even jump) Ill carry him outside and viola crisis averted! Uh, yeah, well thats not exactly what went down. I go to "encourage" him into the cup and he FLIES around the cup toward me and then back under a china case I have by our back door!!!!!!! I will leave it to your imagination as to how I reacted to this because anything you imagine could not be anywhere close to how dramatic the scene was at this point!!! Where is a man when you need him!? Oh and can I add to your visual? lmbo! I decided before I started this venture that I should "suit up" with a pair of my horse working gloves (that way he doesnt bite me) and JTs size 15 cowboy boots (my boots that fit me just right were too close to the lizard for me to grab, at least I thought so anyway :/ ) Ok so back on track. He is now under the cabinet. So my next genius idea is "ooh, I know, Ill bring crash inside (this is my husky) and he will save the day! Be the hunter he was bread to be, catch the lizard take him outside and viola! crisis averted!" hahahaha Just like plan A, plan B didn't work out quite the way I'd had hoped! I bring crash in and lure him to the scene with treats (this is where I went wrong!) that was it! He was on ME and those treats like a fly on poop! I even threw some treats at the lizard thinking it will make the lizard run then crash will notice and catch him and we can be done! Nope not so much. I gave up on crash and this is where it gets sad for me! I hate snake lizards but I do not wish to harm or torture them! It was my last hope :/ I couldn't have this thing stay in my house and get bigger then one of the girls find it and get hurt! I took a wooden pole I had lying by the back door and tried to scare him toward the back door he would not budge!!! So I did it!!! I went to hit and kill him aiming for his head so it would be quick! That did not work! I lopped off his tail!! The tail starts bouncing around like it has a mind of is own! I wont tell you what I did at that point other then once again like a cartoon or a movie when someone finds a bug on themselves and freaks jumping and running get it off get it off!! Thats the closest I could describe it! I couldn't take it I had to get him! I go after him again! This time still dont get his head! instead his ARM!! This poor lizard is now without a tail or an arm!! I did the best I could to get him outside and thinking ok crash with finish the job. No he didnt he LICKED!!! thats right LICKED!! it! I am happy to say the tail stopped moving and the lizard was officially dead about 5 minutes later :( I almost threw up I was so sad!!! It was the worst animal experience ever! What else was I suppose to do!!?
I am sure this is not the last time something like this will happen while JT is away. I wish it would be, but it wont! Maybe I will have PETA knocking down my door tomorrow! I saw the snake skin video!! I know!! Its not a good thing! If I could have done it any other way I would have. I just cant seem to shake crazy! It follows me wherever I go! Thanks for reading as always and please dont send me hate mail! I am torturing myself enough for all of us!!
LT
Monday, September 5, 2011
Passing the Hat...
So a lot of my blogs tend to be on the more negative side of things. But dont get me wrong there are many perks that come a long side being the wife of a Firefighter too and now I am blessed to add Paramedic. I was able to enjoy two of them today!
The first is not a happy story but it meant the world to me! Anabelle had fallen and hit her head pretty hard today. She is in that exploring stage and not so good on her feet yet! Can I just say to have a Paramedic "in house" who knows what to look for all the symptoms of a head injury it gave me an awesome sense of peace to know that Anabelle was in good hands! When our babies get hurt especially head injuries even the smallest little bump you cant see whats going on inside! Its a terrifying feeling! I was filled with calm. It was amazing! Jt was so calm and patient with her he checked her out the best he could without his "tools" and after some time he said she is going to be fine I just want her to be able to calm down. So thats when I walked away because I know babies are smart and even though I was not freaking out like I most of the time do I still had a very worried look on my face and wanted so badly to take her from him and cuddle her! But I knew it would be best that I left. So I did. She calmed down and he put her down for a nap, making sure to check on her every 20 minutes or so. Those are the moments that are priceless!
The second positive I was able to experience today was the Joy of NOT cooking! lol Actually I did help but Jt did the hard main dish work and the mash potatoes. A Fireman lives at a fire house when they go to work they are going to their second home. As a group they usually cook dinner together. So they learn to cook. I didnt always see this as a blessing when we first started dating and I would go over to his house to cook he would always be up in my business trying to add to or tell me how to do something. Which was an offense to my abilities as a women. I have issues with pride. Now that we have 3 kids a bigger house and animals I have learned to except and appreciate this as a gift knowing that he is not trying to say I dont do my job well its just something he has been trained to do and he enjoys and does it well. I can pass the hat to that :) As always thanks for reading... and yes feel free to be jealous ;) My man cooks! lol
LT
The first is not a happy story but it meant the world to me! Anabelle had fallen and hit her head pretty hard today. She is in that exploring stage and not so good on her feet yet! Can I just say to have a Paramedic "in house" who knows what to look for all the symptoms of a head injury it gave me an awesome sense of peace to know that Anabelle was in good hands! When our babies get hurt especially head injuries even the smallest little bump you cant see whats going on inside! Its a terrifying feeling! I was filled with calm. It was amazing! Jt was so calm and patient with her he checked her out the best he could without his "tools" and after some time he said she is going to be fine I just want her to be able to calm down. So thats when I walked away because I know babies are smart and even though I was not freaking out like I most of the time do I still had a very worried look on my face and wanted so badly to take her from him and cuddle her! But I knew it would be best that I left. So I did. She calmed down and he put her down for a nap, making sure to check on her every 20 minutes or so. Those are the moments that are priceless!
The second positive I was able to experience today was the Joy of NOT cooking! lol Actually I did help but Jt did the hard main dish work and the mash potatoes. A Fireman lives at a fire house when they go to work they are going to their second home. As a group they usually cook dinner together. So they learn to cook. I didnt always see this as a blessing when we first started dating and I would go over to his house to cook he would always be up in my business trying to add to or tell me how to do something. Which was an offense to my abilities as a women. I have issues with pride. Now that we have 3 kids a bigger house and animals I have learned to except and appreciate this as a gift knowing that he is not trying to say I dont do my job well its just something he has been trained to do and he enjoys and does it well. I can pass the hat to that :) As always thanks for reading... and yes feel free to be jealous ;) My man cooks! lol
LT
Being a good example to our children...
I had mentioned on my facebook page that I would write a blog about the experience I had at the grocery store yesterday so here it is. Its not as fresh in my head but I am calmed down so it will probably not come out as harsh as it would have last night. I would like to add though that yesterday was the last of a long 72 Jt came home this morning Thank God. It had been a long weekend. Nothing major had happened and really me and the girls just laid around but I was extra tired for some reason. So it felt long. Alisa had school friday. We went to the park on saturday and of course sunday was spent at church. Sundays are always crazy days for me when JT is gone because I have to get me and the girls ready, feed and water all the animals and be to church by 8:30 a.m. then we are there until about 1pm. This particular sunday was crazy. Anabelle had two "dirty" not pleasant at all diapers and ran out of clothes. So she ended up in church clothing. Then I go to get Abby and her teacher informs me that she "smells"... lol thats what I get for letting her dress her self that morning. I totally did not even realize she put her clothes from the day before back on! Then I go to pick Alisa up from her class and one of my friends tells me that Alisa had been saying how starved she was all morning!!!! LMBO! Seriously! The crazy part is on a normal day this would have caused me to be somewhat of a wreck. But I was actually in a "no big deal" kind of mood. I wasnt embarrassed or upset. Things happen and I know that my kids are well fed well bathed and well taken care of and loved. Besides the fact that none of the people who had told me about each girl knew at all about what I had already had to hear about the other ones.(I hope that makes sense lol) So after that long day then we headed over to the station to visit JT and drop of some tamales I had made. We started talking about a very heated subject and as soon as we start to argue ha wouldn't you know it he gets a call "saved by the bell" NOT!!! So instead of waiting for him to get back me and the girls head home. We all lay down for a nap to catch up on our energy from the crazy morning. I make Abigail change her clothes of course ;) and when the girls woke up we headed to the store for dinner stuff.
I thought since we had a crazy day it would be nice for us all to have some good "girl" time so we decided to make homemade pizza and watch a movie. So I get the grocery list together and we were off. When we got to the store the parking lot was full I thought oh great its packed this outta be fun! Surprisingly once inside I realized it was actually pretty quiet, me and a few other shoppers. So I have no idea why the parking lot was so full. So I go straight to the flour isle. One of the employees was there and right behind me a lady comes down the isle. He asks her if he can help her find anything and she says "yes, birthday candles" he shows her to them a little ways down the isle. Im aware of her and her phone conversation but more paying attention to what I am looking for. She leaves the isle and I find what I am looking for. We move on. The girls are being extra good standing right next to the basket.(This detail is important later) Thinking back its weird because they are usually hard to corral. We head out of the isle and the same lady flies around the corner not paying attention and nearly runs right over the girls! They are sandwiched now between mine and this ladies shopping cart! I get no "excuse me" or "oh Im so sorry" NOTHING!! The girls move over she gives me a dirty look and rushes past! I calmly say out loud "really?" "Alisa are you ok?" (she came pretty close to Alisa Im not sure that she didnt hit her to be honest it all happened so fast) Alisa says "yeah, I'll be ok" and we move on. We head over to get pepperoni's and after that we head to the sauces as Im headed down the center isle this lady comes flying out behind me. I can feel her on my butt and say nothing. As soon as I stopped to turn down the sauce isle she rams into my back!!! This time I stopped and blocked her way! I turned around very calmly and started in "REALLY!!! That is twice now! You are lucky you did'nt hurt one of my kids... please slow down" she yells at me "KEEP YOUR KIDS BY YOU! WHO STOPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE LIKE THAT!?DONT BE STUPID" I was still blocking her way not really on purpose it just so happened to be where my basket was she proceeds to push my basket out of the way and tells me to move out of her way! STILL no excuse me! I then said "Really?! You are being really mean and my kids are right by me!!! she has the balls to say "OH good you listened to me". Oh man BIG DEEP BREATH!!! No i didnt listen to you they have been right next to me this whole time!! Please slow down!! She runs off yelling shut up your stupid stay out of my way!!!! Oh my gosh! I also somewhere in there told her how mean she was being hahahaha where were my curse words when I needed them. ( its still a trip to me that I didnt blow up on this women) thinking back on it and all the things I could have done and didnt I am surprised at myself. All I can say is wow God really can and really does change you! Three years ago or even Five this women would not have been so lucky! She has no idea where Ive been and the things Ive done. Granted I dont know her either but I sure know me and she didnt scare me. So after ALLLLL that would you believe it if I told you... Not ONCE, Not TWICE, but THREE times this women ran into me!!! The third time I got quite a bit more verbal then all the previous! Still though no cussing or being mean! I told her she was lucky she didnt run one of the girls over and break a bone she needed to really slow down! I dont know at this point it felt like we were the only ones in the store besides the employees I was shaking, you know that feeling you get right before you get into a boxing match? lol or maybe you dont. But that's how it felt! She went to check out and I went to grab some wine and fruit. When I was done and went to check out she was leaving and you could tell she had told the cashier as much about it as she could before she left. I wanted to cry!!! The cashier asked me how are you today? lol Uh been better thanks! Then God gave me a sweet glimmer of hope. A cute little old lady gets in line behind me and says "Oh look at how cute she is, you have beautiful girls" *sigh* then I wanted to cry more hahaha I said a very sincere "THANK YOU" she had no idea how special that was to me at that very moment! When we left I thought that crazy lady is now behind the wheel of a car! She cant drive a shopping cart Lord knows how she drives a car! So I warned the girls to stay VERY close to the cart! Not that I thought the lady was going to run us over on purpose I simply thought wow she was in a rush she probably is going to rush in her car too! It ened up being a really great lesson for my girls! We teach them to say excuse me and thank you and also calling people names like stupid is not aloud in our house and since this lady broke all our rules the girls got to see first hand how rude it really can be and how ugly and nasty it looks! I still thought all sorts of horrible things! Then I had a thought and I know its that cheesy christian thought but I really meant it sincerely I thought "I really should pray for her! I have no idea what made her so mean but I could pray for her" I still havent lol but trust me this memory wont fade fast! I was literally heart broken! Which is another crazy part and how I know God changed me from the inside out! I wasn't mad (ok a little) but more then anything it just made me sad! Sad for me, sad for my girls to have witnessed and been treated so harshly, and more then anything sad for that women! What has she gone through who has treated her so harshly that she feels the need to treat children that way! Now don't get me wrong! If I felt my kids were in true danger or it had escalated any further I would not have been so nice! I wouldn't have acted irrational but I would have called the cops or something... its simply NOT okay to treat people or children that way! Its called having respect for fellow Human beings and if you cannot find it in you to do that I dont know if I would call you human! I am glad its over and also glad its not the only store in town I wont be going back to that location for a while! Im a little offended that none of the employees said anything. At the end of it all I was very proud of me! I know my girls are watching! I am their example!
LT
I thought since we had a crazy day it would be nice for us all to have some good "girl" time so we decided to make homemade pizza and watch a movie. So I get the grocery list together and we were off. When we got to the store the parking lot was full I thought oh great its packed this outta be fun! Surprisingly once inside I realized it was actually pretty quiet, me and a few other shoppers. So I have no idea why the parking lot was so full. So I go straight to the flour isle. One of the employees was there and right behind me a lady comes down the isle. He asks her if he can help her find anything and she says "yes, birthday candles" he shows her to them a little ways down the isle. Im aware of her and her phone conversation but more paying attention to what I am looking for. She leaves the isle and I find what I am looking for. We move on. The girls are being extra good standing right next to the basket.(This detail is important later) Thinking back its weird because they are usually hard to corral. We head out of the isle and the same lady flies around the corner not paying attention and nearly runs right over the girls! They are sandwiched now between mine and this ladies shopping cart! I get no "excuse me" or "oh Im so sorry" NOTHING!! The girls move over she gives me a dirty look and rushes past! I calmly say out loud "really?" "Alisa are you ok?" (she came pretty close to Alisa Im not sure that she didnt hit her to be honest it all happened so fast) Alisa says "yeah, I'll be ok" and we move on. We head over to get pepperoni's and after that we head to the sauces as Im headed down the center isle this lady comes flying out behind me. I can feel her on my butt and say nothing. As soon as I stopped to turn down the sauce isle she rams into my back!!! This time I stopped and blocked her way! I turned around very calmly and started in "REALLY!!! That is twice now! You are lucky you did'nt hurt one of my kids... please slow down" she yells at me "KEEP YOUR KIDS BY YOU! WHO STOPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE LIKE THAT!?DONT BE STUPID" I was still blocking her way not really on purpose it just so happened to be where my basket was she proceeds to push my basket out of the way and tells me to move out of her way! STILL no excuse me! I then said "Really?! You are being really mean and my kids are right by me!!! she has the balls to say "OH good you listened to me". Oh man BIG DEEP BREATH!!! No i didnt listen to you they have been right next to me this whole time!! Please slow down!! She runs off yelling shut up your stupid stay out of my way!!!! Oh my gosh! I also somewhere in there told her how mean she was being hahahaha where were my curse words when I needed them. ( its still a trip to me that I didnt blow up on this women) thinking back on it and all the things I could have done and didnt I am surprised at myself. All I can say is wow God really can and really does change you! Three years ago or even Five this women would not have been so lucky! She has no idea where Ive been and the things Ive done. Granted I dont know her either but I sure know me and she didnt scare me. So after ALLLLL that would you believe it if I told you... Not ONCE, Not TWICE, but THREE times this women ran into me!!! The third time I got quite a bit more verbal then all the previous! Still though no cussing or being mean! I told her she was lucky she didnt run one of the girls over and break a bone she needed to really slow down! I dont know at this point it felt like we were the only ones in the store besides the employees I was shaking, you know that feeling you get right before you get into a boxing match? lol or maybe you dont. But that's how it felt! She went to check out and I went to grab some wine and fruit. When I was done and went to check out she was leaving and you could tell she had told the cashier as much about it as she could before she left. I wanted to cry!!! The cashier asked me how are you today? lol Uh been better thanks! Then God gave me a sweet glimmer of hope. A cute little old lady gets in line behind me and says "Oh look at how cute she is, you have beautiful girls" *sigh* then I wanted to cry more hahaha I said a very sincere "THANK YOU" she had no idea how special that was to me at that very moment! When we left I thought that crazy lady is now behind the wheel of a car! She cant drive a shopping cart Lord knows how she drives a car! So I warned the girls to stay VERY close to the cart! Not that I thought the lady was going to run us over on purpose I simply thought wow she was in a rush she probably is going to rush in her car too! It ened up being a really great lesson for my girls! We teach them to say excuse me and thank you and also calling people names like stupid is not aloud in our house and since this lady broke all our rules the girls got to see first hand how rude it really can be and how ugly and nasty it looks! I still thought all sorts of horrible things! Then I had a thought and I know its that cheesy christian thought but I really meant it sincerely I thought "I really should pray for her! I have no idea what made her so mean but I could pray for her" I still havent lol but trust me this memory wont fade fast! I was literally heart broken! Which is another crazy part and how I know God changed me from the inside out! I wasn't mad (ok a little) but more then anything it just made me sad! Sad for me, sad for my girls to have witnessed and been treated so harshly, and more then anything sad for that women! What has she gone through who has treated her so harshly that she feels the need to treat children that way! Now don't get me wrong! If I felt my kids were in true danger or it had escalated any further I would not have been so nice! I wouldn't have acted irrational but I would have called the cops or something... its simply NOT okay to treat people or children that way! Its called having respect for fellow Human beings and if you cannot find it in you to do that I dont know if I would call you human! I am glad its over and also glad its not the only store in town I wont be going back to that location for a while! Im a little offended that none of the employees said anything. At the end of it all I was very proud of me! I know my girls are watching! I am their example!
LT
Thursday, August 25, 2011
We DID IT!!!
We FINALLY made it out on a family vacation!! Alisa had to missed a couple days of school since they start back waaaayy to early lol, but we got the make up work and all was good. Between Jts crazy schedule my never ending to do list and Alisa going back to school I really cant believe it happened! To be honest the world was against us!
The plan was Jt come home friday and we pack up and leave first thing, That is not how it happened. We had no babysitters for the animals planned, we hadnt talked with Alisa's school and we had way too many errands to run before we left. So the plan changed and we pushed it back a day, no big deal right? So we start calling emailing and texting friends and family trying to situate the animals. This in itself was stress enough to not leave! But we kept chuggin along! Not only did we have animal help to figure out but we had a list of camping gear we were missing that Jt had to run out and replace while I finished up some chores at home and ran a couple of errands myself. We met back up later to packed up and then I had to head off to take Daisy to my mom who ended up watching her! (Big step for me ;) and I also had a Pampered chef party I had rsvpd to that I wanted to hit before we left. While I was doing this Jt stayed home to finish packing up the truck running to get hay for the horses and get groceries for the trip. It was chaos!!! We some how managed to get most everything accomplished except a few things. I had a Partylite Party myself a couple weeks ago and needed to close up all the loose ends before I left and also check our finances to make sure all was well enough for the trip. So we wake up now saturday morning and things were crazy! Our finances went "cursplat" over night thanks to groceries for the trip, hay for the horses, and the replacing of camping gear I had previously mentioned! It was a mess! Jt says to me as we stare sadly at the very low number in our bank account "so what do you think?" I reply " I think we just went broke on camping gear there is no way we are not going to make this work and go camping!!!" So we do what Jt and I do best! We run around pulling 20 from here 100 from there this card has this balance, that card has that balance... and we leave!!! Our plan was to leave around 7am lol we hit the freeway around 1130am! Yeah way off but whatever!! We made it into Yosemite National park around 6pm and to our campsite around 7pm Thank God there was an open one because of course we didn't have reservations;)
Long story short once we arrived life was good we spent some much needed quality time with the girls got lots of rest and had a blast hiking around all our favorite spots with them! We hit bridal veil which is one of our staples and the second day the girls hiked with us to Nevada falls which is half way to Half Dome!! Half Dome is a 17 mile hike roundtrip. The girls did an 8 mile hike round trip! I was so proud of them! Abby had to have daddy carry her a few times but hey she is only 4 years old!! We did not get to see Glacier Point which was a bummer for me because Im pretty sure this one is my favorite! But I did get some more pics in my fav spots that have inspired me to get back to my scrap booking! That makes me and Jt happy :)! So at the end of it all it was a crazy trip with a lot of speed bumps but we made it with some great memories to share! We think we are back in the groove and plan on taking another trip very soon! AND best of all!!! We are going to take Alisa ALL the way to Half Dome next year!! She is almost as excited as we are! Hope you have all had a happy summer! Good Night!
LT
The plan was Jt come home friday and we pack up and leave first thing, That is not how it happened. We had no babysitters for the animals planned, we hadnt talked with Alisa's school and we had way too many errands to run before we left. So the plan changed and we pushed it back a day, no big deal right? So we start calling emailing and texting friends and family trying to situate the animals. This in itself was stress enough to not leave! But we kept chuggin along! Not only did we have animal help to figure out but we had a list of camping gear we were missing that Jt had to run out and replace while I finished up some chores at home and ran a couple of errands myself. We met back up later to packed up and then I had to head off to take Daisy to my mom who ended up watching her! (Big step for me ;) and I also had a Pampered chef party I had rsvpd to that I wanted to hit before we left. While I was doing this Jt stayed home to finish packing up the truck running to get hay for the horses and get groceries for the trip. It was chaos!!! We some how managed to get most everything accomplished except a few things. I had a Partylite Party myself a couple weeks ago and needed to close up all the loose ends before I left and also check our finances to make sure all was well enough for the trip. So we wake up now saturday morning and things were crazy! Our finances went "cursplat" over night thanks to groceries for the trip, hay for the horses, and the replacing of camping gear I had previously mentioned! It was a mess! Jt says to me as we stare sadly at the very low number in our bank account "so what do you think?" I reply " I think we just went broke on camping gear there is no way we are not going to make this work and go camping!!!" So we do what Jt and I do best! We run around pulling 20 from here 100 from there this card has this balance, that card has that balance... and we leave!!! Our plan was to leave around 7am lol we hit the freeway around 1130am! Yeah way off but whatever!! We made it into Yosemite National park around 6pm and to our campsite around 7pm Thank God there was an open one because of course we didn't have reservations;)
Long story short once we arrived life was good we spent some much needed quality time with the girls got lots of rest and had a blast hiking around all our favorite spots with them! We hit bridal veil which is one of our staples and the second day the girls hiked with us to Nevada falls which is half way to Half Dome!! Half Dome is a 17 mile hike roundtrip. The girls did an 8 mile hike round trip! I was so proud of them! Abby had to have daddy carry her a few times but hey she is only 4 years old!! We did not get to see Glacier Point which was a bummer for me because Im pretty sure this one is my favorite! But I did get some more pics in my fav spots that have inspired me to get back to my scrap booking! That makes me and Jt happy :)! So at the end of it all it was a crazy trip with a lot of speed bumps but we made it with some great memories to share! We think we are back in the groove and plan on taking another trip very soon! AND best of all!!! We are going to take Alisa ALL the way to Half Dome next year!! She is almost as excited as we are! Hope you have all had a happy summer! Good Night!
LT
Saturday, August 6, 2011
As summer comes to a close...
Looking back on our summer my mind fills with disappointments and sadness. The reality that has hit my family is that we are running this rat race a little too fast for our own good. Our to-do list is long enough for 3 life times and with our crazy wacked out schedule as a "Fire Family" it only makes matters worse. True, JT has the ability to work his schedule to better fit family vacations and such, problem is we cant seem to put family first. To prioritize our life so that we are spending a good amount of quality time as a family. We are both at fault here. He had a whole six day off a few weeks ago and if he was not at the gym, eating, or sleeping, then he and I were busy trying to knock down that to-do list I previously mentioned. When in fact we should be saying these things can wait, our kids will only be kids for so long... lets go play!
At the beginning of the summer I blogged about all the wonderful things we had planned to do! Alisa even helped me make the list. Not only did we miss manage our time, we miss managed our finances, and now looking back we are paying the price, suffering the consequences of our actions. I can say we did do some of the things we had planned to do but none of the big ones, and now here we are ready for school to start back up with very few good summer memories to get us through until winter break. We had a very serious talk about it all and we are both on the same page that things do need to change. Given there are some great things that we would like to stay the same but we really want our girls to grow up with an appreciation and love for a lot of the same things as us and that just wont happen if we do not take them out to experience it all now. So I am bummed but I do have hope. We are lucky to be realizing this now while they ARE still young and not 10 years from now! We have been blessed so that in turn we can bless our kids and we flat out haven't done that. Our plan is to take a family vacation before the end of August if all goes well and we put this priority first I will be posting pictures and telling you about our adventure :) wish us luck!
LT
At the beginning of the summer I blogged about all the wonderful things we had planned to do! Alisa even helped me make the list. Not only did we miss manage our time, we miss managed our finances, and now looking back we are paying the price, suffering the consequences of our actions. I can say we did do some of the things we had planned to do but none of the big ones, and now here we are ready for school to start back up with very few good summer memories to get us through until winter break. We had a very serious talk about it all and we are both on the same page that things do need to change. Given there are some great things that we would like to stay the same but we really want our girls to grow up with an appreciation and love for a lot of the same things as us and that just wont happen if we do not take them out to experience it all now. So I am bummed but I do have hope. We are lucky to be realizing this now while they ARE still young and not 10 years from now! We have been blessed so that in turn we can bless our kids and we flat out haven't done that. Our plan is to take a family vacation before the end of August if all goes well and we put this priority first I will be posting pictures and telling you about our adventure :) wish us luck!
LT
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
If it's not one wife, it's another...
Today I face a dilemma. I am VERY sick! I was born with asthma first off, then I had a cold last week, got over it, but it has now turned into bronchitis. No I am not a doctor. But I am an expert I have had this my whole life. Having asthma makes you very prone to other lung problems so it is rare that a cold does not turn into bronchitis for me. The good part is I've learned over the years that the best way to get over it is to cough it up and spit it out! I know thats gross but its true. So most of the time I can get through it without antibiotics. Not the case this time. Thanks to the humidity we had yesterday and the heat today. Plus my lack of rest the last couple of months my body has taken all it can bare for now. So what's my dilemma you ask? Well Jt left for a 72 yesterday. Did I plan on this? NO. Did I want this to happen? NO. But it did. I am left here for three days my chest is on fire, I feel like I have a bolder sitting on my chest I cannot breath, the lack of oxygen to my brain has given me a migraine and is now turning in to full body aches. My stomach is in knots over the stress.
Here is the problem, like all other jobs Jt has "family sick leave" but unlike other jobs if he needs to use this time someone else is called in. They cant run medical aids without a medic. Its not like "oh its cool the office work can wait till you come back and you can catch up." People don't stop needing 911 when I get sick. So some other wife out there suffers, some other wife has to sacrifice time with her husband. I know all too well how bad it sucks to have your husband work a day you didn't plan on him working. So here I am REALLY sick trying to take care of animals kids errands shopping for 3 days pushing myself to the limit because I know if I make the call and say I need you home its legit, I know that someone else has to fill the spot. It makes it so complicated! To top it off I am very stubborn, very hard headed, and very much do not want to be a burden on anyone! I am sure there are wives out there that do not think this way. If they are sick they make the call. Sure wish I could care less. But I cant, I was not made that way. But for the moment being that I really need to get better so that I can get back to my job as a wife and a mom, I have to release it to God let it go, and make the call. Maybe it sounds a little over the top to say it this way but truth is having the lung issues that I do I cannot afford to put this off one more day. I need to go to the doctor, get on antibiotics, and rest. I cannot do this with three kids who have to at very least eat. I need JT. So to any RFD wives reading this if it is your husband called in I really mean this from the bottom of my heart I am very very sorry :( in MY perfect world I am Wonder Women and I NEVER get sick. As always thanks for reading. For those of you who know me personally and love me I would love prayers for healing this week. I need to get better fast! Thank You!
LT
Here is the problem, like all other jobs Jt has "family sick leave" but unlike other jobs if he needs to use this time someone else is called in. They cant run medical aids without a medic. Its not like "oh its cool the office work can wait till you come back and you can catch up." People don't stop needing 911 when I get sick. So some other wife out there suffers, some other wife has to sacrifice time with her husband. I know all too well how bad it sucks to have your husband work a day you didn't plan on him working. So here I am REALLY sick trying to take care of animals kids errands shopping for 3 days pushing myself to the limit because I know if I make the call and say I need you home its legit, I know that someone else has to fill the spot. It makes it so complicated! To top it off I am very stubborn, very hard headed, and very much do not want to be a burden on anyone! I am sure there are wives out there that do not think this way. If they are sick they make the call. Sure wish I could care less. But I cant, I was not made that way. But for the moment being that I really need to get better so that I can get back to my job as a wife and a mom, I have to release it to God let it go, and make the call. Maybe it sounds a little over the top to say it this way but truth is having the lung issues that I do I cannot afford to put this off one more day. I need to go to the doctor, get on antibiotics, and rest. I cannot do this with three kids who have to at very least eat. I need JT. So to any RFD wives reading this if it is your husband called in I really mean this from the bottom of my heart I am very very sorry :( in MY perfect world I am Wonder Women and I NEVER get sick. As always thanks for reading. For those of you who know me personally and love me I would love prayers for healing this week. I need to get better fast! Thank You!
LT
Monday, August 1, 2011
Love Dare Day 15 (Love is Honorable)
Let me get straight to the point. To honor is to respect. Lets just say I did not do so well. The to-do list today was too taxing. My selfishness level was way too high. I am not giving up... just giving myself grace for a day. Love dare day 15 to be continued...
LT
LT
Love Dare Day 14 (Love takes delight)
In this chapter the book is talking about how when you are a new couple you look forward to spending all the time you can with your spouse. You think of them often when they are not with you. You are excited when it comes time to see them. But as we get further along in our relationship the excitement wears off and the joy fades. So this chapter challenges you to delight in your spouse to remember the joy. To lead your heart rather then just following it. " You don't let you feelings and emotions do the leading. You put them in the back seat and tell them where you are going" It goes on to talk about how in marriage relationships your heart doesn't always feel like loving but love dares us to make a decision to love. We are suppose to remember why we fell in love with their personality. Remember why we fell in love with them.
This chapter shares a love story from the Song of Solomon as inspiration for the day. The woman:"Like an apple among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He has brought me to his banquet hall, and his banner over me is love"(Song of Solomon 2:3-4)
The man:"Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along! Oh my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your form, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your form is lovely"(Song of Solomon 2:13-14)
People, be honest, am I the only one who reads that and thinks OMG! that's in the Bible? lol Dude its like reading a crazy love scene out of one of those books! You know the ones you can buy at the grocery store where the man is all buffed out and the chicks boobs are about to fall out of her shirt! The Bible gives us as couples this example to follow we are suppose to enjoy each other this much to look forward to this special quiet time with our spouse to want to get to know them on a deeper level!
I think for me as a wife of a fireman this one comes somewhat easy most of the time because whether you like it or not they have to go and usually for days at a time. Even a normal 24 hour shift you are forced to go without them so you look forward to seeing them more because you do not get to see them all the time. I used to say, and still believe it, that although Jts schedule is hard on us, it is good for me I always get my alone time when I need it or even when I dont, and I never get the chance to really lack appreciation for the time I get with him. Although there are those long stints that he is home, all up in my business where I wanna scream and make him go somewhere ;).
So the dare for this chapter was to "Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together.
Our normal evening routine has become Jt sits down watches a movie, I sit down and get my various projects done. Instead I put off my projects and focused on spending time with him. It wasn't easy I take my evenings pretty seriously with all the sewing, blogging, reading, journaling, crafting and so on that I "have" to get done. It is my time because during the day my time is focused on him and the kids. But I put it down for the evening and you know what it was actually good for me I need more rest, more "just doing nothing" with my man. Learning more about who he is and how he ticks. So all in all it was a good exercise. Will I do it everyday? Probably not. But I can definitely make more time for it in our life. :) Truth is I think we all need this, almost to remember why we are living this life together! Because when life gets crazy and hectic your spouse will be there holding your hand listening to you and as a team you will have to get through it.If you dont remember all the good in the bad times you might lose eachother in the chaos. :( So make special time it will only make you stronger! Thanks for reading.
LT
This chapter shares a love story from the Song of Solomon as inspiration for the day. The woman:"Like an apple among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He has brought me to his banquet hall, and his banner over me is love"(Song of Solomon 2:3-4)
The man:"Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along! Oh my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your form, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your form is lovely"(Song of Solomon 2:13-14)
People, be honest, am I the only one who reads that and thinks OMG! that's in the Bible? lol Dude its like reading a crazy love scene out of one of those books! You know the ones you can buy at the grocery store where the man is all buffed out and the chicks boobs are about to fall out of her shirt! The Bible gives us as couples this example to follow we are suppose to enjoy each other this much to look forward to this special quiet time with our spouse to want to get to know them on a deeper level!
I think for me as a wife of a fireman this one comes somewhat easy most of the time because whether you like it or not they have to go and usually for days at a time. Even a normal 24 hour shift you are forced to go without them so you look forward to seeing them more because you do not get to see them all the time. I used to say, and still believe it, that although Jts schedule is hard on us, it is good for me I always get my alone time when I need it or even when I dont, and I never get the chance to really lack appreciation for the time I get with him. Although there are those long stints that he is home, all up in my business where I wanna scream and make him go somewhere ;).
So the dare for this chapter was to "Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together.
Our normal evening routine has become Jt sits down watches a movie, I sit down and get my various projects done. Instead I put off my projects and focused on spending time with him. It wasn't easy I take my evenings pretty seriously with all the sewing, blogging, reading, journaling, crafting and so on that I "have" to get done. It is my time because during the day my time is focused on him and the kids. But I put it down for the evening and you know what it was actually good for me I need more rest, more "just doing nothing" with my man. Learning more about who he is and how he ticks. So all in all it was a good exercise. Will I do it everyday? Probably not. But I can definitely make more time for it in our life. :) Truth is I think we all need this, almost to remember why we are living this life together! Because when life gets crazy and hectic your spouse will be there holding your hand listening to you and as a team you will have to get through it.If you dont remember all the good in the bad times you might lose eachother in the chaos. :( So make special time it will only make you stronger! Thanks for reading.
LT
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Love Dare Day 12 and 13 (Love lets the other win and Love fights fair)
Oh this one was hard for me! Not because I don't let JT win. If you read my blog before this book you would know I have learned how good this can be for a marriage being the first to give in. Yes that alone is hard but with practice it gets easier and through your own sacrifice when you put down your gun and say I surrender, it most often takes the fight out of the opposing person. But be careful not to be sarcastic Lord knows I do this all too well. "Your right, Im wrong (sarcasm is free enjoy my gift and lets move on) lol. But when I really for the sake of our marriage take responsibility for my actions regardless of what Jt's side in the fight was, we come together stronger through our weakness. I hope that makes sense! But the reason why this dare was hard for me was because it spoke on a very harsh reality of mine, how often in fighting I bring up the word divorce. My parents divorced when I was 6, my Grandparents divorced before I was born, my moms best friend divorced, my Aunts... Divorced. I was raised by divorced "independent" women. Who "didnt need a man" this was not good for my upbringing, not if I wanted to be married and have kids. All I know, all I've seen is divorce. But God did bless me later in life with a wonderful Step Dad. It was through him that God began to teach me about a real man. A man who loves a women faults and all. So long story short I have not said this in a very long time because one night I had said it and Jt started to pack a bag! Reality sank in not only did I need him I wanted him. I was being selfish in continuing to throw divorce in his face. I sat on the couch but did not cry I watched him pack his bag and just thought "how stupid can you be!" Admit it you dont want him to go. Tell him! Before its too late! So i did! The funny thing is he was packing his bag to go to the gym. To get a breather from me. I vowed to him and myself that night I would NEVER say that word again! I made that date my pass word for my bank account so that forever I would be reminded of the day I realized how bad it would hurt if he really left.
The dare for day 13 is to sit down with your spouse if they are up for it and to make a set of rules for fighting the book had a few as examples, of course Not saying the word Divorce was one of them. The dare for day 12 was Demonstrate Love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first. Both of these are hard work but they teach you how to let go and not to be selfish, to put your spouse and the health of your marriage before your own selfish stubborn ways! All good lessons for me! Once again I am so glad I have already read "Proper care and feeding of a marriage" It is like the foundation for this book a "this is what you need to do". Then the Love Dare is like a good follow up a "guide to" or a "How to" put the other book into action! I love both and am thankful for all the growth so far! Day 14 (Love takes delight) is today so stay tuned if all goes well I will have it done and posted this evening! Thanks for reading! Leave comments!
LT
The dare for day 13 is to sit down with your spouse if they are up for it and to make a set of rules for fighting the book had a few as examples, of course Not saying the word Divorce was one of them. The dare for day 12 was Demonstrate Love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first. Both of these are hard work but they teach you how to let go and not to be selfish, to put your spouse and the health of your marriage before your own selfish stubborn ways! All good lessons for me! Once again I am so glad I have already read "Proper care and feeding of a marriage" It is like the foundation for this book a "this is what you need to do". Then the Love Dare is like a good follow up a "guide to" or a "How to" put the other book into action! I love both and am thankful for all the growth so far! Day 14 (Love takes delight) is today so stay tuned if all goes well I will have it done and posted this evening! Thanks for reading! Leave comments!
LT
Love Dare Day 11 (Love cherishes)
First off I need to put it out there once again! This book is crazy! It maps things out so perfectly for you, each exercise preparing you for the next! If you have the right mind set and are determined to finish this book no matter what, it WILL teach you steps to learning to love.
Love cherishes, the book tells a story about a man who owns a car that begins to have serious trouble after having it looked at they say it would take all his savings to fix it. He decides to get rid of the car and use his savings on a new vehicle. Another man, an Engineer, accidentally crushes his hand in a piece of equipment. Once at the Hospital realizes he will have to spend his life savings to fix his hand. Without even thinking of course he gets his hand fixed. The problem with our culture is marriage is often treated more like the first scenario. It goes on to say that the bond between a man and a women is like the second scenario we would not cut our hand off if it were broken we would do all we could to fix it. This is how we have to treat our marriage.
I cannot say I have always treated my marriage this way in fact I haven't always believed my marriage to be this way! I used to tell Jt all the time you are not here because I need you, you are here because I want you! Which at the time was probably closer to the truth because I was too damn stubborn to lean on him but the truth is God has given him to me especially for that! To lean on when I am weak to cry to when I am sad to share joys with! He is my gift from God or one of the many anyways! God has created him special for me! I could not have pick a more perfect partner. It goes on to say that when we show love to our spouse we are showing love to ourselves as well. But there is a flip side to this coin when we mistreat our spouse we are also mistreating ourself.
So the dare for this was... What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? ( I dont do feet :/ eww) lol. Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile. So I helped Jt with yard work. He will usually ask me to help and I dont I tell him its better we split up and get more done. But he tends to work better with an assistant so this day in particular I chose to just help. It was growth for me because truth is I tend to want things done my way and nothing else will do. Jt will almost always go about something way differently then me and yet we end up with the same results. Other then getting over myself and allowing him to do his thing and not only that but assist him in doing HIS thing it was not too complicated a dare! On to day 12, It feels like day 20 though. Thanks again for reading.
LT
Love cherishes, the book tells a story about a man who owns a car that begins to have serious trouble after having it looked at they say it would take all his savings to fix it. He decides to get rid of the car and use his savings on a new vehicle. Another man, an Engineer, accidentally crushes his hand in a piece of equipment. Once at the Hospital realizes he will have to spend his life savings to fix his hand. Without even thinking of course he gets his hand fixed. The problem with our culture is marriage is often treated more like the first scenario. It goes on to say that the bond between a man and a women is like the second scenario we would not cut our hand off if it were broken we would do all we could to fix it. This is how we have to treat our marriage.
I cannot say I have always treated my marriage this way in fact I haven't always believed my marriage to be this way! I used to tell Jt all the time you are not here because I need you, you are here because I want you! Which at the time was probably closer to the truth because I was too damn stubborn to lean on him but the truth is God has given him to me especially for that! To lean on when I am weak to cry to when I am sad to share joys with! He is my gift from God or one of the many anyways! God has created him special for me! I could not have pick a more perfect partner. It goes on to say that when we show love to our spouse we are showing love to ourselves as well. But there is a flip side to this coin when we mistreat our spouse we are also mistreating ourself.
So the dare for this was... What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? ( I dont do feet :/ eww) lol. Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile. So I helped Jt with yard work. He will usually ask me to help and I dont I tell him its better we split up and get more done. But he tends to work better with an assistant so this day in particular I chose to just help. It was growth for me because truth is I tend to want things done my way and nothing else will do. Jt will almost always go about something way differently then me and yet we end up with the same results. Other then getting over myself and allowing him to do his thing and not only that but assist him in doing HIS thing it was not too complicated a dare! On to day 12, It feels like day 20 though. Thanks again for reading.
LT
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Love Dare Day 10
This book is kicking my butt!! I am enjoying every minute of it, but wow! Seriously, it is NOT at all easy to keep up with! I strongly urge anyone looking to start this book to make sure to be prepared mentally for a challenge and pray that God with help you be "moldable" (open to growth). In fact if you cant wrap your mind around that last sentence I suggest you put the book on a shelf and pray until you feel like you are in a place of real honest and open growth.
Day 10 Love is unconditional. You would think we knew this before we stood up to say our vows. "Until death do us part" "For Richer or poorer" "In sickness and in health" the sad reality is that most of us just don't think the bad ones are going to happen, but they do! In my case poor JT got the bad end of the stick, hahahaha no I kid, we both had a lot to learn about each other. But you know what I have something to say to those of you out there living with your boyfriend or girlfriend "playing" house. I lived with my husband for nearly 4 years before we were married. It is not true. It is NOT just a piece of paper and until you put yourself so far out to say out loud to stand up in front of the world and make a commitment to each other you do not get the fullness the beauty of what REAL marriage can be! To feel completely safe that you belong to each other and no one else! I cant really put into words exactly what Im trying to say other then I went down the "playing house" road and it is NOT the same as having a family making it a real commitment, and truth be known we both had our fears I come from a VERY divorced family and was afraid to face the reality that one day I might suffer the same fate. But when we did finally "take the plunge" it was the craziest thing, I had such a peace about it all! I was finally home! I was safe and loved. Now time to get really real! ;) This is where unconditional comes in. I mentioned I come from a broken family and with that comes emotional baggage I am pretty sure this is the sickness our vows are referring to. I mean, really, who is going to get divorced over a cold?! I mean maybe the flu!? lol. But the truth is we are all sick in some way, we all have issues of sorts and as soon as that commitment is made its like this... Okay Im home! Time to unpack all my crap!! LOL. Ever been to a hotel? Do you unpack? No because you are not staying there. It feels like home because there are dressers night stands closets even a coffee pot if your lucky :). You "play" house at hotels. But at home you know you are staying! So you unpack! My poor husband, we married 2 or 3 years ago ( I would have to look at "the paper" to know for sure) and I have been unpacking my crap ever since. He has too, but in a different way then me. This is where the book comes in I have my way of unpacking and sorting through my things and he has a whole other way of dealing with his suitcase. But I said to him, and the world, "through sickness and health". What this chapter says is that when we are first together yes we fall in love because of the friendship and the sex. We also have a list of things we love our partner for sweet, kind, strong, good cook. What if these things changed? What then? I was very happy, I usually am very happy but the past few years I have "unpacked" a few "ish-shoes" that have refreshed some pains and hurts I went through as a young child. Jt had to make a choice to love me through the times I wasn't so happy. The book basically says there comes a point that you have to love just because! You have to love no matter what! Its easier I think to understand this kind of love when you have kids because I do love my kids regardless. I don't always like what they do but I always love them. There is a special place in my heart for them a place they can come when they are sad and need love lonely and what to know they are not alone mad and to know its ok they are human and being mad comes with the territory and I still love them! This is how we have to become with our spouse. I will end by quoting part of this chapter "But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless yo allow God to begin growing His love within you. Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things 1 Corinthians 13:7 this does not come from within. It can only come from God." You will need God because us human beings don't have a loving heart and it is not easy to love someone through the hard times this is when we need to look to, have faith in, and trust that God with Love US through it.
I feel like all the previous chapters were setting me up and preparing me for this one. If I can get my selfishness out of the way learn to be patient and to find hope in the future I can Love Jt more easily when times get tough. Its easier when i humble myself. When i remember that Jesus Christ laid down his life for ME!! When I am honest with myself and set aside my pride my eyes are opened to the fact that I too am hard to love but God still does! Here's to learning to love the "unloveable" myself included.
LT
Day 10 Love is unconditional. You would think we knew this before we stood up to say our vows. "Until death do us part" "For Richer or poorer" "In sickness and in health" the sad reality is that most of us just don't think the bad ones are going to happen, but they do! In my case poor JT got the bad end of the stick, hahahaha no I kid, we both had a lot to learn about each other. But you know what I have something to say to those of you out there living with your boyfriend or girlfriend "playing" house. I lived with my husband for nearly 4 years before we were married. It is not true. It is NOT just a piece of paper and until you put yourself so far out to say out loud to stand up in front of the world and make a commitment to each other you do not get the fullness the beauty of what REAL marriage can be! To feel completely safe that you belong to each other and no one else! I cant really put into words exactly what Im trying to say other then I went down the "playing house" road and it is NOT the same as having a family making it a real commitment, and truth be known we both had our fears I come from a VERY divorced family and was afraid to face the reality that one day I might suffer the same fate. But when we did finally "take the plunge" it was the craziest thing, I had such a peace about it all! I was finally home! I was safe and loved. Now time to get really real! ;) This is where unconditional comes in. I mentioned I come from a broken family and with that comes emotional baggage I am pretty sure this is the sickness our vows are referring to. I mean, really, who is going to get divorced over a cold?! I mean maybe the flu!? lol. But the truth is we are all sick in some way, we all have issues of sorts and as soon as that commitment is made its like this... Okay Im home! Time to unpack all my crap!! LOL. Ever been to a hotel? Do you unpack? No because you are not staying there. It feels like home because there are dressers night stands closets even a coffee pot if your lucky :). You "play" house at hotels. But at home you know you are staying! So you unpack! My poor husband, we married 2 or 3 years ago ( I would have to look at "the paper" to know for sure) and I have been unpacking my crap ever since. He has too, but in a different way then me. This is where the book comes in I have my way of unpacking and sorting through my things and he has a whole other way of dealing with his suitcase. But I said to him, and the world, "through sickness and health". What this chapter says is that when we are first together yes we fall in love because of the friendship and the sex. We also have a list of things we love our partner for sweet, kind, strong, good cook. What if these things changed? What then? I was very happy, I usually am very happy but the past few years I have "unpacked" a few "ish-shoes" that have refreshed some pains and hurts I went through as a young child. Jt had to make a choice to love me through the times I wasn't so happy. The book basically says there comes a point that you have to love just because! You have to love no matter what! Its easier I think to understand this kind of love when you have kids because I do love my kids regardless. I don't always like what they do but I always love them. There is a special place in my heart for them a place they can come when they are sad and need love lonely and what to know they are not alone mad and to know its ok they are human and being mad comes with the territory and I still love them! This is how we have to become with our spouse. I will end by quoting part of this chapter "But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless yo allow God to begin growing His love within you. Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things 1 Corinthians 13:7 this does not come from within. It can only come from God." You will need God because us human beings don't have a loving heart and it is not easy to love someone through the hard times this is when we need to look to, have faith in, and trust that God with Love US through it.
I feel like all the previous chapters were setting me up and preparing me for this one. If I can get my selfishness out of the way learn to be patient and to find hope in the future I can Love Jt more easily when times get tough. Its easier when i humble myself. When i remember that Jesus Christ laid down his life for ME!! When I am honest with myself and set aside my pride my eyes are opened to the fact that I too am hard to love but God still does! Here's to learning to love the "unloveable" myself included.
LT
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Love Dare Day 9 (Love makes a good impression)
Greet one another with a kiss of Love 1 Peter 5:14. I notice all to often couples who get comfortable to a point where they no longer show affection toward each other or do not say I love you before getting off the phone or when saying good bye.
Jt and i do have moments but it is rare we always kiss goodnight, goodbye and even hello! So I had to get creative with this dare. We joke constantly when we are in public that people probably look at us and think we are a "fresh" couple. We have been through the ringer together and made it through, all to find happy again and it shows! But the times when it is hard is when we are fighting I dont want to kiss and hug and "Oh I love you". Instead, I want to strangle and choke and "You suck because..." but this chapter focused more on greeting. The cool thing is Dr. Laura has already taught me a thing or two about this. In her book "The proper care and feeding of a marriage" she says it like this. If you want your husband to want to come home to be excited to come home then make it a place he can be excited about! ( This is in my own words fyi not quoting book) For example if the minute your husband walks in the door you start in on how horrible your day has been how bad it sucked because you found all his messes you had to clean up then you throw the kids at him etc. and you do this nearly every time he comes home do you think he is going to be anxious with excitement to walk in the door or anxious with worry about what your going to throw at him today? I had personal experience here. While JT was in medic school and working full time life was tough for me with a house, kids, roommates, life got crazy. So I got in the habit of this horrible routine. I would literally throw the kids at him complain for a half hour and then go back to bed or leave to get done things I hadn't been able to with the kids. I started to notice he was gradually getting home later then usual and every so often I would ask what the deal was and he would say "Oh I got to talking with so and so". He was not excited to come home. I wanted him to be ready to come home straight at 730 not because he had to but because he WANTED to. So I made myself a rule I was no longer going to come at him with the kids and complaints instead I would always from this moment on greet him with a hug and kiss and be full of excitement when I saw him! I learned from another read that men have a need to feel wanted a need to be the Hero, and this helps to fill that! I now have a happy husband who comes home anxious to see "his girls" ready to take on all the hugs and kisses we have for him!
The Love Dare says "It doesn't have to be bold and dramatic every time. But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate's heart in subtle, unspoken ways." and can I ad I had got to a point where this negative became comfortable. It was NOT easy to step out of my comfort zone and thats where communication came into play. Its kind of like when you first start dating someone reaching out for a kiss can be nerve racking! How are they going to respond? What are they going to say? I have found in my relationship that when I sincerely put myself out there it is always met with joy and love. In other words JT can see its not easy and he is gentle and appreciates it even more because he knows how hard it was for me to reach out of my comfort zone.
So the dare for the day was to think about how you greet your spouse and make it extra special today! Since Jt and I always greet with a kiss... I got a bit more creative. I would share but its TMI and I know saying that probably has all your imaginations in crazy places hahaha but its NOT at ALL what you think! But I did wake him up in an extra special way. :) He liked it and the dare was checked off my list! Also I am not sure if you are suppose to share with your spouse the happenings of the book but I have been telling him because he would think something crazy was going on if I didn't. I don't think it takes from the effect because he still notices that I am putting my self out there and he can see that I am trying. So I am a quarter of the way through the 40 days and so far I am still alive! ;) Thanks for reading and hope you are all enjoying!
LT
Jt and i do have moments but it is rare we always kiss goodnight, goodbye and even hello! So I had to get creative with this dare. We joke constantly when we are in public that people probably look at us and think we are a "fresh" couple. We have been through the ringer together and made it through, all to find happy again and it shows! But the times when it is hard is when we are fighting I dont want to kiss and hug and "Oh I love you". Instead, I want to strangle and choke and "You suck because..." but this chapter focused more on greeting. The cool thing is Dr. Laura has already taught me a thing or two about this. In her book "The proper care and feeding of a marriage" she says it like this. If you want your husband to want to come home to be excited to come home then make it a place he can be excited about! ( This is in my own words fyi not quoting book) For example if the minute your husband walks in the door you start in on how horrible your day has been how bad it sucked because you found all his messes you had to clean up then you throw the kids at him etc. and you do this nearly every time he comes home do you think he is going to be anxious with excitement to walk in the door or anxious with worry about what your going to throw at him today? I had personal experience here. While JT was in medic school and working full time life was tough for me with a house, kids, roommates, life got crazy. So I got in the habit of this horrible routine. I would literally throw the kids at him complain for a half hour and then go back to bed or leave to get done things I hadn't been able to with the kids. I started to notice he was gradually getting home later then usual and every so often I would ask what the deal was and he would say "Oh I got to talking with so and so". He was not excited to come home. I wanted him to be ready to come home straight at 730 not because he had to but because he WANTED to. So I made myself a rule I was no longer going to come at him with the kids and complaints instead I would always from this moment on greet him with a hug and kiss and be full of excitement when I saw him! I learned from another read that men have a need to feel wanted a need to be the Hero, and this helps to fill that! I now have a happy husband who comes home anxious to see "his girls" ready to take on all the hugs and kisses we have for him!
The Love Dare says "It doesn't have to be bold and dramatic every time. But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate's heart in subtle, unspoken ways." and can I ad I had got to a point where this negative became comfortable. It was NOT easy to step out of my comfort zone and thats where communication came into play. Its kind of like when you first start dating someone reaching out for a kiss can be nerve racking! How are they going to respond? What are they going to say? I have found in my relationship that when I sincerely put myself out there it is always met with joy and love. In other words JT can see its not easy and he is gentle and appreciates it even more because he knows how hard it was for me to reach out of my comfort zone.
So the dare for the day was to think about how you greet your spouse and make it extra special today! Since Jt and I always greet with a kiss... I got a bit more creative. I would share but its TMI and I know saying that probably has all your imaginations in crazy places hahaha but its NOT at ALL what you think! But I did wake him up in an extra special way. :) He liked it and the dare was checked off my list! Also I am not sure if you are suppose to share with your spouse the happenings of the book but I have been telling him because he would think something crazy was going on if I didn't. I don't think it takes from the effect because he still notices that I am putting my self out there and he can see that I am trying. So I am a quarter of the way through the 40 days and so far I am still alive! ;) Thanks for reading and hope you are all enjoying!
LT
Love Dare Day 8 ( Love is not Jealous)
Sure, Love isn't but I am! Its funny because this book hit it right on the head. It wasn't talking about the kind of jealous you would think. It was speaking of not being jealous of your spouse. His or her achievements, success, having a good day and so on. I tend to get jealous if Jt comes to tell me a story about something he is doing at work that he is all pumped up and excited about, for example, right now he is working on improving the "gym" area at his station. He loves the fitness thing and staying focused on his health. He also makes sure to do his absolute best in this aspect. So he was telling me a story yesterday about how he found mirrors to put up on the wall. He was going to get them and drop them by the station. This is where my jealousy comes in. I become jealous of his success and happiness because i take it in my own little twisted head and think wow sure wish you could be excited about us like that. Or I wish you would be as excited about HOME improvement as you are about work improvement. In this situation I chose to think before I spoke and when I really thought about it I realized I really am happy for him! I am happy he has a good place to stay fit and healthy in order to perform his job safely and come HOME to his family. I am happy that he has something that he enjoys.
The challenge for this day was to take your depreciation list and discreetly burn it. LOL um read the title of the blog people I am married to a firefighter there is no such thing and discrete. I chose to instead just discard of it! I know how to pick and chose my battles and THAT is not one I care to try and explain, hahaha. Then share with your spouse a success he or she recently enjoyed. I chose to share the feelings I had about his gym at work. After doing this and choosing (I really think a lot of this book is making choices toward the good, making better choices) to stay focused on the positive and happy I really had a great day! I think the here is that there are pros and cons in any situation its what you choose to focus on that counts and makes the difference! The book said this... If you dont diffuse you anger by learning to love others, you may eventually plot against them. The bible says that envy leads to fighting, quarreling, and every evil thing. Thanks for reading Ill be posting Days 9 and 10 shortly.
LT
The challenge for this day was to take your depreciation list and discreetly burn it. LOL um read the title of the blog people I am married to a firefighter there is no such thing and discrete. I chose to instead just discard of it! I know how to pick and chose my battles and THAT is not one I care to try and explain, hahaha. Then share with your spouse a success he or she recently enjoyed. I chose to share the feelings I had about his gym at work. After doing this and choosing (I really think a lot of this book is making choices toward the good, making better choices) to stay focused on the positive and happy I really had a great day! I think the here is that there are pros and cons in any situation its what you choose to focus on that counts and makes the difference! The book said this... If you dont diffuse you anger by learning to love others, you may eventually plot against them. The bible says that envy leads to fighting, quarreling, and every evil thing. Thanks for reading Ill be posting Days 9 and 10 shortly.
LT
Monday, July 25, 2011
Love Dare Day 6, and 7 (Love is not irritable & Love believes the best)
First off I would like to apologize for the break in my posts. The last few days hit me like a ton of bricks. I was blindsided by my own lack of attention to details. To catch you up, let me start with how day 6 went because that went somewhat well and the story should go by very quickly.
Day 6 this part of the book had some very valid points that I really liked! I will share and then finish with how I did with the Dare myself. Love Dare Day 6: Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. Why do people become irritable? There are at least two key reasons that contribute to it: Stress.Stress weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your health and invites you to be cranky. It can be brought on by relational causes: arguing, division,and bitterness. There are excessive causes: overworking, overplaying and overspending. And there are deficiencies: not getting enough rest, nutrition, or exercise. Oftentimes we inflict these daggers on ourselves, and this sets us up to be irritable.
I really liked this paragraph it points out that our lack of attention to ourselves and our schedule and not keeping a balanced schedule can basically set us up for failure. I can happily say that over the last couple of years living with roommates, overspending and overworking opened my eyes to this. Although i loved sharing my home with family that was going through struggles and having the opportunity to Love on someone through Jesus' eyes was awesome and taught me a lot about Love it also taught me though, that I have to be more careful and protective of my time with my spouse making a conscious effort to spend quality quiet time together. Also I, let me repeat that, I was overspending which would cause fights because when things would get tight I would get stressed and freak about any little dime spent but the sickness of the situation was I, let me repeat that again, I was putting us there. Then there was Jt "overworking" now this was for family improvement because he was in school full time but had to continue to work full time to pay the bills. I only say this because all though it was necessary it still taught me that we do need balance in our life. So I was very excited to read this chapter and to have at least started the steps to working toward a more balanced life. It does help to relieve stress and Lord knows I need all the help I can get in this area ;). The Dare for this was to choose to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of irritation. To begin by making a list of areas you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life. Check.
So on to day 7... I am going to tell you the story of how yesterday went before I tell you about the dare because I think God is a very funny Being who has a sense of humor. All too often I run off on my own, acting like oh "I've got this" and all too often I forget the bigger picture, I DONT "got this" not without God that is! So Yesterday morning I woke up 6am to give me plenty of time to get reading for church and do my reading before I left. Well I spent my morning unwisely and was not quite ready to leave when i should have at 8am. To top it off the girls, outta no where decided that they wanted to go with me early to church ( I volunteer a service and then Jt and the girls meet me after and we go to a service) So of course I was not going to say no! I am suppose to be to church by 830am and I did not leave my house until 830. It did not help that Jt was getting home from an OT shift, he got home at 8am. I was so mad at him because he was off doing yard work before I even left. I was stressed and then to top it off he wasnt even thinking "How can I help her get herself and the kids off in time". So I rushed to church and the day was filled, I did not read my Love Dare in the morning so I had no clue what I should have been doing. We go to church and then afterward I had a Partylite Party to attend at 1pm. I got out of church at 1pm. Jt took the girls and left I was headed to the party but we had switched cars. I went out to the parking lot to jump in the car and rush off but the car was not parked in its "usually" spot in fact I did not see it anywhere in the parking lot! I was hot, rushing the clock, tired and stressed which caused me to be irritable! lol. That was not the worst of it though I go to call Jt to find out where he parked because I would rather not walk the huge parking lot in he heat. But what do you know? He doesnt answer! Hmm once again he is all good, so life is good. Right? Wrong. Hello!!! Your wife is lost in a parking lot in the heat you jerk! Thanks for paying attention to your phone in case i need you or God forbid i have a REAL emergency! At this point I was pissed! It gets worse, just wait!! So he finally calls back but he is irritated with me as if I should have known where the car was!! Really?! I am not a mind reader! We hang up. I get to the car and realize I had left my notebook with the address for the party in the truck!! So I call JT to have Alisa read me the address... guess what!? HE DIDNT ANSWER!!!! Literally 2 seconds later!! I figured it out, went on my phone (thank goodness for smart phones) found the invite on my Fb and typed the address into my navigation. Guess what!!? IT WASNT WORKING!! So here I am pissed at my husband for his lack of attention to me sitting in a car with a broken AC and now I have to figure out where this party is. Not to mention I have yet to eat! No breakfast or snack but I did have coffee which of course after it wears off makes you even more hungry!! But this is where a little light came into my life! That morning in Flips Flops my Director had given me a snickers bar! I remembered this and thought yahoo! at least I can snack on that to tide me over until I get to the party! I soooo needed to sit and relax with good girlfriends!!! I found the party and all was good. But the day didnt end there! When I got home at 4 everyone was sleeping including Jt which to me was no big deal I needed to get started on dinner anyways. But when I got in the truck to go get the groceries for dinner the gas light was still on! Oh I forgot to mention that part, when I got in the truck to go to church the gas light popped on. So I had to make it to church on fumes! Which means the gas light was on for him when he drove home but he chose to just go home. Instead of going to the store and coming home to cook an extra errand was added to my list thanks to his lack of attention to detail! At this point Id had enough! I came home after getting gas and groceries he was still sleeping and the girls were all up!! When I started in on dinner they all started bugging me for things of course. So (oooowahahaha insert evil laugh here) I went into the bedroom where he was sleeping so peacefully and yelled "JONATHAN!!" he jumped up straight out of sleep and I said in a normal voice " the girls are up and I am cooking dinner so you need to get up and help me". He had been sleeping for 3 hours at this point! So after that we had our argument, I vented said what I had to say he said his peace and we still couldnt squash it. We did eventually but it was not until after dinner around 930pm. It had been such a loooong day! I never read my Love Dare, I had decided I would wake up this morning and start fresh. So remember how I said i think God has a sense of Humor? Keep all of this in mind while I talk to you about what YESTERDAYs love dare SHOULD have been!
Love Dare Day 7... Love believes the best! I sure wish for effectiveness I could type out this whole chapter for you. But I wont. In short This chapter says we all have a room in our heart that holds all the appreciations we have for our spouse's. "Wonderful cook" "honest" "pretty eyes" the list goes on. But we ALSO have a "depreciation room" where we have all the negative thinks we know about our spouse "laziness" "lack of attention to detail" this list also goes on. It says this is the room where divorces are planned and evil plans are plotted. In relationships, with love, by choice, we have to choose to limit our time in this room only going to it when we need to know what to pray for our spouse and also to paint in huge letters on the walls "COVERED IN LOVE". So do you see now why i think God has a sense of humor? If only I had MADE the time to read this chapter before my day had started yesterday. Oh how different my mindset would have been! But NOOO I had to be rushing around, not being thoughtful, prepared, or balanced and for that my relationship with my husband suffered yesterday. That is how God works by the way, HIS plan was for me to read it before the day started because he knew I would need to here it but i chose a different path. But the best part is through it all God still won! And I still learned something in fact I learned two things. First I should not ignore the negatives in Jt but instead of going to them only when I am mad I need to bring them to his attention in quiet, calm discussions when we are both open and willing to communicate also I need to go to them when I need to know what to pray for him. Second, I learned God is good. Which of course I already knew but I need reminders often! Because I am dense!! This was a great reminder and God showed me His "humoress" side which was nice too!
The Dare for this day is to make a list of each room. The "appreciation room" and the "depreciation room" set them aside because you will need them later on in the book. Then choose one thing from the appreciation list to say Thank you to your spouse for. I have not made my lists yet but as soon as I am done with this post I am on it ;) I hope you have enjoyed reading this and my prayer for you is that you can possibly learn a little from my mistakes. Thank you for reading leave a comment if you like I LOVE to hear from you all!
LT
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Love Dare Day 5 ( Love is not Rude)
So today was cool because I was not required to carry on with any of the previous dares, Thank goodness, I did however have to, without attacking him or justifying my behavior, ask Jt to tell me three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with me.
I asked him first thing in the morning because I knew it would take him all day to come up with three :D lol. Well that didnt really work because we had yard work planned all day and he completely forgot the details of the question hahaha. But of course you know what I was doing all day, i was stressing! Thinking things like "great what is he going to say this is going to be really hard to hear and worse to not be able to respond on my behalf :/ seriously are theses people crazy? I thought through all the things i think I do wrong and can I say it was not easy to think I was going to have to hear out loud from "the mirror I cannot avoid" this was NOT going to be easy in fact I was very worried it was going to hurt in a bad way.
When we put the girls to bed and the house was all settled in I asked him "So did you think at all about the question I asked you this morning?" there was a long pause!!!!!!!!!! This CANNOT be good!! (Is exactly what went through my "the world is over" head). The answer that finally found its way to the surface could not have been further from my worst fear. He replied " Im not sure I can even come up with three!" (you can exhale now haha) Thats what I told myself! :P I know barf, right! Oh how great for me, right! Wrong! I know that he can say this now but let me tell you 3ish years ago before I set out on this self reflecting journey he would have had a list! The ONLY reason he can say that is lots of hard work and staying focused on God and what he wants our marriage to be. It has not been easy! So these words sound oh so sweet to me! I went on and said well would you like for me to say what I think I do that irritates you? We ended up having a good open conversation where I was able to hear what he had to say and in no way was I offended! I am finally at a place in my life where I am comfortable enough with my brokenness and also very self aware knowing what I am doing wrong.
We came up with three things... 1. When he is at work and something happens at home... I call him, but get no answer, I text him and still nothing, I text again, nothing, so then I start in and it usually goes along the lines of "oh what do you know here I am left to figure it out on my own all by myself! Like usual!" or say he makes a mistake with the schedule, it is always (and I say that sincerely) an honest mistake. But I blame him and say dont worry I!!! will figure it out I!!! always DO! In other words I throw his job in his face in a way! As if he could care less about me and the girls! 2. I am always throwing what his mom does and how she acts in his face and I also tend to blame him. I never give him credit for the things he has done to try and combat who "she" is. I love my mother in law, she is such a great help to us with the kids and she absolutely loves us all! I am just jealous and feel like "He is my man now" back off! I get very territorial! lol I know that sounds bad! That is because it is! The truth in what you just read is that I am simply not confident enough in myself and my marriage yet! I should not be threatened at all by my Mother in Law or any women for that matter! I know there is room for growth here!! I can say I have made leaps so far, maybe not bounds yet :). and 3. When he has something very important going on at work and I call him sometimes he will answer to tell me hey something is going on let me call you back. He is trying to give me a heads up and I yell at him that we haven't talked all day and if he was unable to talk then why did he answer the phone at all!
At the end of it all I think I made it through the dare with a lot less scrapes then i was planning! I am glad we had the chance to openly communicate so that I could hear from his perspective what I might try working on! I did have a few things pop out at me so here they are: "If you're thinking that your spouse-- not you -- is the one who needs to work in this area, you're likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness." and "do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them." Id like to end on a thought. It is said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over but each time your expecting different results. This was an inspiration for me when I decided to try working on my marriage what I was doing over and over was not working, "trying to fix him" just made things worse, so I went about it with a different approach I decided to start fixing me instead! Day 6 will be "Love is not irritable" stay tuned!
LT
I asked him first thing in the morning because I knew it would take him all day to come up with three :D lol. Well that didnt really work because we had yard work planned all day and he completely forgot the details of the question hahaha. But of course you know what I was doing all day, i was stressing! Thinking things like "great what is he going to say this is going to be really hard to hear and worse to not be able to respond on my behalf :/ seriously are theses people crazy? I thought through all the things i think I do wrong and can I say it was not easy to think I was going to have to hear out loud from "the mirror I cannot avoid" this was NOT going to be easy in fact I was very worried it was going to hurt in a bad way.
When we put the girls to bed and the house was all settled in I asked him "So did you think at all about the question I asked you this morning?" there was a long pause!!!!!!!!!! This CANNOT be good!! (Is exactly what went through my "the world is over" head). The answer that finally found its way to the surface could not have been further from my worst fear. He replied " Im not sure I can even come up with three!" (you can exhale now haha) Thats what I told myself! :P I know barf, right! Oh how great for me, right! Wrong! I know that he can say this now but let me tell you 3ish years ago before I set out on this self reflecting journey he would have had a list! The ONLY reason he can say that is lots of hard work and staying focused on God and what he wants our marriage to be. It has not been easy! So these words sound oh so sweet to me! I went on and said well would you like for me to say what I think I do that irritates you? We ended up having a good open conversation where I was able to hear what he had to say and in no way was I offended! I am finally at a place in my life where I am comfortable enough with my brokenness and also very self aware knowing what I am doing wrong.
We came up with three things... 1. When he is at work and something happens at home... I call him, but get no answer, I text him and still nothing, I text again, nothing, so then I start in and it usually goes along the lines of "oh what do you know here I am left to figure it out on my own all by myself! Like usual!" or say he makes a mistake with the schedule, it is always (and I say that sincerely) an honest mistake. But I blame him and say dont worry I!!! will figure it out I!!! always DO! In other words I throw his job in his face in a way! As if he could care less about me and the girls! 2. I am always throwing what his mom does and how she acts in his face and I also tend to blame him. I never give him credit for the things he has done to try and combat who "she" is. I love my mother in law, she is such a great help to us with the kids and she absolutely loves us all! I am just jealous and feel like "He is my man now" back off! I get very territorial! lol I know that sounds bad! That is because it is! The truth in what you just read is that I am simply not confident enough in myself and my marriage yet! I should not be threatened at all by my Mother in Law or any women for that matter! I know there is room for growth here!! I can say I have made leaps so far, maybe not bounds yet :). and 3. When he has something very important going on at work and I call him sometimes he will answer to tell me hey something is going on let me call you back. He is trying to give me a heads up and I yell at him that we haven't talked all day and if he was unable to talk then why did he answer the phone at all!
At the end of it all I think I made it through the dare with a lot less scrapes then i was planning! I am glad we had the chance to openly communicate so that I could hear from his perspective what I might try working on! I did have a few things pop out at me so here they are: "If you're thinking that your spouse-- not you -- is the one who needs to work in this area, you're likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness." and "do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them." Id like to end on a thought. It is said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over but each time your expecting different results. This was an inspiration for me when I decided to try working on my marriage what I was doing over and over was not working, "trying to fix him" just made things worse, so I went about it with a different approach I decided to start fixing me instead! Day 6 will be "Love is not irritable" stay tuned!
LT
Friday, July 22, 2011
We are going " I love Lucy" Style...
We have to!!! LOL I cant sleep. This past few weeks have been CRAZY with JTs schedule he worked a 72 ( 3days gone) came home for 2 days then worked another 72 came home for one day and then headed back out for a 48 (two days gone)!! So needless to say I got comfortable in a queen bed all to myself!!! Oh yes I was sprawled! I was loving it! Not that I didnt miss him but hello a queen size bed to myself!
Well my dream come true has come to an abrupt stop :( he is home for a few days now and I am now back to 2 feet of a queen size bed. The man is 6'3" 210ish on a bad day! In case you cant imagine that size just trust me it is HUGE! lol I love it but not when it takes up most of the bed! So last night he was laid out on the couch and I went over ever so sweetly and said "OH (very gently), are you sleeping on the couch tonight? (followed by a sweet cute-ish grin of course :P) lol and he is so sweet he asked if I was having trouble sleeping? Would I really like for him to? :) Of course not! But I added maybe we should just go "I love Lucy" style and we can push them together when we are feeling friskay ;P hahahaha That would too work because as often as we do I would sure be getting an added work out on!! LMBO I know TMI whatever.
Maybe its just time to upgrade to Cal King? Who knows, Ill keep you posted on our decision :) Have a great day talk to you this evening when I journal my LOVE dare! Thanks for reading!
LT
Well my dream come true has come to an abrupt stop :( he is home for a few days now and I am now back to 2 feet of a queen size bed. The man is 6'3" 210ish on a bad day! In case you cant imagine that size just trust me it is HUGE! lol I love it but not when it takes up most of the bed! So last night he was laid out on the couch and I went over ever so sweetly and said "OH (very gently), are you sleeping on the couch tonight? (followed by a sweet cute-ish grin of course :P) lol and he is so sweet he asked if I was having trouble sleeping? Would I really like for him to? :) Of course not! But I added maybe we should just go "I love Lucy" style and we can push them together when we are feeling friskay ;P hahahaha That would too work because as often as we do I would sure be getting an added work out on!! LMBO I know TMI whatever.
Maybe its just time to upgrade to Cal King? Who knows, Ill keep you posted on our decision :) Have a great day talk to you this evening when I journal my LOVE dare! Thanks for reading!
LT
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Love Dare Day 4 (Love is Thoughtful)
Well I am happy to say day 3 and 4 are much easier then day 1 and 2! The dare is to contact your spouse sometime throughout the business day just to say hi. Since JT was home I had to get creative. So I was up before the family had all the animals fed watered and also I let him sleep in I asked the girls to be quiet. He has a cold coming on so I "thought" it would be nice to not bug him let him get up when he felt like it :)! I kept the girls busy by teaching them how to make strawberry pancakes! Which was a lot of fun! I also made extra so when he woke up he could have a warm breakfast. He is a big eater so this gets him and Im sure he loved the strawberries because he tends to enjoy more healthy foods. You know the kind that do a body good ;).
I spent the whole day like this just trying to stay on top of it all so that he could enjoy the kids and try to get better. It was really cool too because without me prompting he decided to take the girls to the apple store to look at hard drives. (I need more memory on my computer to get my business stuff back up!) So I think that my patience, kindness, trying to not be selfish is kind of rubbing off. :D The best part is I didnt even do it for that! So all in all it was a really good dare day, I am happy to check another off but I sure am feeling like they are going to hit me with a big one soon! So needless to say Im on my toes!!
A little bit about what the book had to say that stuck out for me was... (Ladies you are going to like this one:) "Let's be honest. Men struggle with thoughtfulness more then women. (True) A man can focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world. A woman, on the other hand, is more multi conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. She can talk on the phone, cook, know where the kids are in the house, and wander why her husband isnt helping... all simultaneously. LMBO!! After this paragraph I stopped my reading looking for an Author to see if it was a woman! Hahahaha. Here was a key verse that I liked Genesis 2:18 it is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." I really like this verse because in the past few years I have taken pride in what my job as a wife is, and here it is in black and white. Makes my heart smile a little.
It also went on to talk about how women talked between the lines and men speak directly. Then women want to know their man is thoughtful enough to read between the lines. This got me twisted a bit. I dont agree with women acting this way toward our men. I married a man not a women so why would I expect from him what a women is suppose to be? Does that make sense? I want him to be my hero, to stand up and be strong, but then all the sudden I expect him to act and think like me? How fair is that to our Male counterparts girls? This is why WE are that way because men have trouble in this area and men can be strong and brave because it balances us women out. Not that I cannot be strong and brave but it sure is nice to let someone else do it for me on occasion. I also think it is a mind game we play with men and its unfortunate that we are passing this down through our young girls. I hope and pray that my girls can grow up to know, appreciate, and love the men in their lives! It sure makes for healthier relationships when we know what parts we play. If I want Jt to do something I have learned to just freakin say it!! Literally one day I simply said " I am really bummed today and dont know why can you please give me some extra attention!! Guess what he didnt have to guess i didnt have to get mad and I GOT what I wanted!! ITS THAT SIMPLE!! Sorry if anyone gets offended by that but I have never found more joy more happiness then when I am loving caring and nurturing to my husband, and guess what when I act like the women God created me to be not only am I happy but my husband is too which makes for a happy relationship! Okay Ill hop down off the soap box now.
All in all I had a good day four and checked it off the list. Tomorrow is " Love is not rude" and the dare is to ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you, you must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective. :/ well that sounds like it will make for an interesting story!! LOL So stay posted Ill let you know what goes down... wish me luck and Goodnight!
LT
I spent the whole day like this just trying to stay on top of it all so that he could enjoy the kids and try to get better. It was really cool too because without me prompting he decided to take the girls to the apple store to look at hard drives. (I need more memory on my computer to get my business stuff back up!) So I think that my patience, kindness, trying to not be selfish is kind of rubbing off. :D The best part is I didnt even do it for that! So all in all it was a really good dare day, I am happy to check another off but I sure am feeling like they are going to hit me with a big one soon! So needless to say Im on my toes!!
A little bit about what the book had to say that stuck out for me was... (Ladies you are going to like this one:) "Let's be honest. Men struggle with thoughtfulness more then women. (True) A man can focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world. A woman, on the other hand, is more multi conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. She can talk on the phone, cook, know where the kids are in the house, and wander why her husband isnt helping... all simultaneously. LMBO!! After this paragraph I stopped my reading looking for an Author to see if it was a woman! Hahahaha. Here was a key verse that I liked Genesis 2:18 it is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." I really like this verse because in the past few years I have taken pride in what my job as a wife is, and here it is in black and white. Makes my heart smile a little.
It also went on to talk about how women talked between the lines and men speak directly. Then women want to know their man is thoughtful enough to read between the lines. This got me twisted a bit. I dont agree with women acting this way toward our men. I married a man not a women so why would I expect from him what a women is suppose to be? Does that make sense? I want him to be my hero, to stand up and be strong, but then all the sudden I expect him to act and think like me? How fair is that to our Male counterparts girls? This is why WE are that way because men have trouble in this area and men can be strong and brave because it balances us women out. Not that I cannot be strong and brave but it sure is nice to let someone else do it for me on occasion. I also think it is a mind game we play with men and its unfortunate that we are passing this down through our young girls. I hope and pray that my girls can grow up to know, appreciate, and love the men in their lives! It sure makes for healthier relationships when we know what parts we play. If I want Jt to do something I have learned to just freakin say it!! Literally one day I simply said " I am really bummed today and dont know why can you please give me some extra attention!! Guess what he didnt have to guess i didnt have to get mad and I GOT what I wanted!! ITS THAT SIMPLE!! Sorry if anyone gets offended by that but I have never found more joy more happiness then when I am loving caring and nurturing to my husband, and guess what when I act like the women God created me to be not only am I happy but my husband is too which makes for a happy relationship! Okay Ill hop down off the soap box now.
All in all I had a good day four and checked it off the list. Tomorrow is " Love is not rude" and the dare is to ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you, you must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective. :/ well that sounds like it will make for an interesting story!! LOL So stay posted Ill let you know what goes down... wish me luck and Goodnight!
LT
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Love dare Day 3 finally!! something EZ!!
Dare 3 was Love is not selfish. Okay yes i said this one wasnt hard I know! But really the dare part was not. The dare was simply to buy something special for your spouse. Funny thing is since I didnt read this dare till later on today and the day was half over I was sitting on the couch and jokingly I told JT "Hey do you mind keeping an eye on the girls while I run up to the store real quick?" he of course asked why so I told him then we had a good laugh together because if your married you know that married with kids leaves you very little "extra money" so we both found it very funny that a learning to love your spouse book would ask you to spend money! We both like spending as little as possible lol so I moved on to reading tomorrows dare so i was more prepared then today. But then it came to mind you know I could do something without spending money. So I asked him if he would like a back rub tonight he smiled and said "Really!!!??!!" very shocked that I offered. So that is my not being selfish dare complete. Oh and wait I remembered that we needed coffee and taking initiative ;) ran up to the store without Jt offering :) so when I was up there I grabbed him a chapstick :D we LOVE chapstick lmbo! and he LOVED it when I gave it to him! I bought me one too though havent decided if that was selfish of me or not hahaha. So needless to say Thanks to the very hard challenges the first couple days I feel like they are preparing me and the book does say that about the first two, that they are foundations for the rest if you cant get them you wont get the rest.
I also was not aloud to say anything negative to continue the kindness but it did not specify anything about being patient for a third day phew! done with that haha. OOh this stood out I really liked the bluntness of it... why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? The answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are all selfish. Sad thing is i dont think the pill is that hard to swallow I think we have all grown comfortable with selfish. Problems is it doesnt help my marriage one single bit! Also this came up... One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive reward. So thats that I liked todays dare maybe because it was easy or maybe because I also got a chapstick :) whatever! it was sure a lot easier then the first two!! Tomorrow's dare is Love is thoughtful... we will see ;) goodnight all, as always thanks for reading!
LT
I also was not aloud to say anything negative to continue the kindness but it did not specify anything about being patient for a third day phew! done with that haha. OOh this stood out I really liked the bluntness of it... why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? The answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are all selfish. Sad thing is i dont think the pill is that hard to swallow I think we have all grown comfortable with selfish. Problems is it doesnt help my marriage one single bit! Also this came up... One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive reward. So thats that I liked todays dare maybe because it was easy or maybe because I also got a chapstick :) whatever! it was sure a lot easier then the first two!! Tomorrow's dare is Love is thoughtful... we will see ;) goodnight all, as always thanks for reading!
LT
Love Dare Day 2 (Love is Kind)...
Be kind to one another, Tender Hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 That is a loaded verse! I can definitely say I am not always kind in fact I am probably mean more often then not. I was raised by very independent self driven women all of which never seemed to need a man. This has created in me a very independent I don't need anyone especially a man for that matter attitude! Which can I say actually benefits me a lot being married to a firefighter because very often I find myself in situations that require this attitude. The trouble is learning how to put this attitude away when it is not needed. Another thing that came up yesterday while doing this dare was the books definition of "being kind". Let me give you a few examples... "Helpfulness: if its house work you get busy". I often feel like as a stay at home I am obligated to get most of the house work done but it is a rare occasion that I have the house clean and presentable for Jt when he walks in at 8am from his 24 hour shift. This is a special treat for him that I think should happen more often then not. He is a good man who works hard to provide for his family I think he deserves to at least come home to a cleanish house. But all too often I let my laziness, selfishness, or even pride get in the way of me doing this simply because I love him and want to be kind. Next was "Initiative: The kind husband or wife(thats me) will be the one who greets first, serves first, and forgives first". This one struck me a bit. It is often spoke of at church and even in todays society that the Man needs to be the leader that he should go first as a women I always have this in the back of my head while we argue. "Well he needs to be the leader and back down first" or "he should say Im sorry first, its his job to lead us" so to see it here in black and white as a definition of kindness in men AND women well it was like someone said "Liz its ok you can be first it doesnt make him any less a man or a leader". Also I would like to add like I have said in previous post I have seen a lot of change and improvement in our relationship in the past 8 plus years and it has from what I can tell all started with me. Im not saying Jt has not changed he has! But here is the magic and beauty of it all as soon as I let go of what I thought he should fix and change and started to focus on me and what I was not doing as a mom, wife, christian, friend, daughter and so on it was like he had a moment to think I had cleared the air all that bitching and complaining only gave him something to point his finger back at! The weird thing though is anytime I change me to get change from him it never works lol its not the same as me genuinely trying to change and work on me! Frustrating I know!!! lol :) So back to it... the book describes kindness as taking initiative. It also said it means "willingness: Instead of being obstinate, reluctant, or STUBBORN(hahahaha), you cooperate ( let me define that for you CO as in more then one person together OPERATE= function) you know like co-exist and you stay flexible. Yeah this whole part goes against the fiber of my whole being!!!
So I can say i have found more room for improvement. I will give myself this credit though if you knew me 12 years ago and talked with me today you would not know who i was. So as much room for improvement that I have, the gap has definitely been lessoned over the years... Thank GOD!!! Seriously! Also here is a key verse the book shared which stuck out to me for two reasons its famous and I also own the "famous" shirt that comes from this verse... Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So that you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man" Proverbs 3:3-4
I would like to also share with the women reading this... the book mentioned the Proverbs 31 women. This is crazy to me! For months now God has been dropping little hints my way here and there she pops up in my life! So yesterday I decided to use it as a challenge with my small group then I did my devotional and yesterdays devotional spoke of her and here she is AGIAN in the love dare!! Hello! Who could ignore that! lol So needless to say I will be focusing on this women for a while as my example and I am pretty excited about it!
So at the end of the reading for day 2 Love is Kind it asks a direct question that spoke to me in particular, "Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help". I let this be the focus of my dare for the day I made sure to do things for Jt without being asked I took special initiative that I dont usually take and I did things ahead of time. Since he was at work this made it somewhat easy for me to complete day 1 dare being patient. When we talked on the phone things were at a point where I could have been mean instead of patient. It was last night around 11:00pm we were all done talking about our days and catching up and he insisted that I promise I will go to bed early and not stay up late. It first made me feel like a child and also I had a list of things to finish for the evening still so I was feeling offended I felt like I was being treated as if I stay up late on purpose! The evening is my only chance to get things done without the kids so I have to take advantage. Instead of blowing up and getting angry with him... I took a BIG deep breath and calmly said " Jonathan, I am doing the best I can to work on myself right now I am personally struggling with my lack of time management, so its hurtful that you would be so harsh with me when I also do not want to be up late but you need to know I am aware of my schedule being off and want to work on it but tonight I have things I need to get done I am not staying up late blowing time on FB I am doing thing worth while and need to get done then I will go to bed." (lol I know it sounds like a freakin therapy session!!!! I hate therapy in case you were wondering haha another thing I need to work on what do you know) any who so guess what the cool part was... instead of it being a fight. My calm patient response to him in turn received a calm patient response back!! He said "Im sorry, I only worry that you will be tired tomorrow and its also harder to deal with you when you are tired and cranky". Hahaha he said it calmly and truth is he is right! So we said goodnight and yahoo! I was able to check two days off in the book!! Oh but also can I say being kind to someone who is not home makes for an interesting day! I did lots of housework and prepared for a BBQ with friends so that Jt has less to take care of! That was me taking initiative :D
So lets end with this its been two days but seriously this is already so tough, to be watching my Ps and Qs almost constantly! It feels like it has been weeks! So I say this to whoever is reading... DO NOT TAKE THIS DARE LIGTLY!! Its friggein tough!! But well worth it so far! :) Thanks for reading! Hope you've enjoyed it! On to Love Dare Day 3...
LT
So I can say i have found more room for improvement. I will give myself this credit though if you knew me 12 years ago and talked with me today you would not know who i was. So as much room for improvement that I have, the gap has definitely been lessoned over the years... Thank GOD!!! Seriously! Also here is a key verse the book shared which stuck out to me for two reasons its famous and I also own the "famous" shirt that comes from this verse... Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So that you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man" Proverbs 3:3-4
I would like to also share with the women reading this... the book mentioned the Proverbs 31 women. This is crazy to me! For months now God has been dropping little hints my way here and there she pops up in my life! So yesterday I decided to use it as a challenge with my small group then I did my devotional and yesterdays devotional spoke of her and here she is AGIAN in the love dare!! Hello! Who could ignore that! lol So needless to say I will be focusing on this women for a while as my example and I am pretty excited about it!
So at the end of the reading for day 2 Love is Kind it asks a direct question that spoke to me in particular, "Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help". I let this be the focus of my dare for the day I made sure to do things for Jt without being asked I took special initiative that I dont usually take and I did things ahead of time. Since he was at work this made it somewhat easy for me to complete day 1 dare being patient. When we talked on the phone things were at a point where I could have been mean instead of patient. It was last night around 11:00pm we were all done talking about our days and catching up and he insisted that I promise I will go to bed early and not stay up late. It first made me feel like a child and also I had a list of things to finish for the evening still so I was feeling offended I felt like I was being treated as if I stay up late on purpose! The evening is my only chance to get things done without the kids so I have to take advantage. Instead of blowing up and getting angry with him... I took a BIG deep breath and calmly said " Jonathan, I am doing the best I can to work on myself right now I am personally struggling with my lack of time management, so its hurtful that you would be so harsh with me when I also do not want to be up late but you need to know I am aware of my schedule being off and want to work on it but tonight I have things I need to get done I am not staying up late blowing time on FB I am doing thing worth while and need to get done then I will go to bed." (lol I know it sounds like a freakin therapy session!!!! I hate therapy in case you were wondering haha another thing I need to work on what do you know) any who so guess what the cool part was... instead of it being a fight. My calm patient response to him in turn received a calm patient response back!! He said "Im sorry, I only worry that you will be tired tomorrow and its also harder to deal with you when you are tired and cranky". Hahaha he said it calmly and truth is he is right! So we said goodnight and yahoo! I was able to check two days off in the book!! Oh but also can I say being kind to someone who is not home makes for an interesting day! I did lots of housework and prepared for a BBQ with friends so that Jt has less to take care of! That was me taking initiative :D
So lets end with this its been two days but seriously this is already so tough, to be watching my Ps and Qs almost constantly! It feels like it has been weeks! So I say this to whoever is reading... DO NOT TAKE THIS DARE LIGTLY!! Its friggein tough!! But well worth it so far! :) Thanks for reading! Hope you've enjoyed it! On to Love Dare Day 3...
LT
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